welcome to the story.

The Phoenix as Symbol The phoenix was a bird from ancient Egyptian mythology that flew so close to the sun that it was consumed by fire and fell to the ground, only to rise later, to fly again, reborn out of the ashes. The phoenix symbolizes us on our journey with God. As time has gone on, we have flown so close to the flames of this world that we have been consumed by it so much that we have lost our ability to fly. Now as followers of Jesus, we lay in the ashes, broken, beaten, and barely breathing. A far cry from our ultimate purpose that we were created for. So now its time for us to rise up again. Time to be renewed again with a passion for our Creator and for our world. A time to be intimate with our maker and relevant in our context. It is time for the church to rise out of the ashes and become a thriving social and spiritual capital once again. It is time for the church to quit flying so close to the flames of politics, religion, and tradition. Its time to fly again. Renewed. Reformed. Revived. Risen. Refreshed. Reprogrammed. Its time for the church to be church.

Questions I Have on the Contextualization of the Gospel How do we contextualize (to place a word or idea in a particular context) the gospel to different people, living in different places, living in different cultures? It is obvious that I have to take a different approach to sharing the gospel with someone in Africa or India other than the approach I would use in the U.S. It also goes without saying that I would have to use different methods of sharing the gospel for someone in rural Alabama and someone who lives in New York City or Seattle or Chicago. Language and views of God are varied among cultures. It is important to know what context you are in and where the people of that context are coming from. I also think it is important to note that there are Christians living in different cultures within the U.S. as well as Christians overseas who have different views and languages used to describe God. This language and their views have been shaped by their surrounding culture. This has shaped their lens from which they see God and the gospel. Now whose lens is right? If I have been shaped by a Western North American culture and my brother in India has been shaped by an Eastern South India culture, who is right? Well, it depends on which culture you grew up in. For my brother in India, he must surely think that there are things that I do within my faith that he views as wrong from his cultural standpoint. And the same goes for me. I am sure there are things that I disagree with him. I'm not so much talking about theological disagreements (although our theology is very much shaped by the culture we are in) but more social adaptions. For example, what if a small tribe in Africa has recently received the gospel from a Western Christian missionary. However, they believe in cannibalism after death. That when a member of the tribes die, its is only fitting that his body should be consumed by the rest of the tribe. To bury a member of the tribe under the ground, in the dirt, only to be eaten by worms is seen as ridiculous. How does the Western Christian missionary resolve the tension between his cultural standards and that of the tribe. On a less exagerated scale, what about language that is used that is contrary to one's culture? Or what about the consumation of wine or beer? What about cigars? What about halloween? Alot of how these things are viewed from a cultural lens as opposed to a biblical lens. We must understand what lens our audience or context is looking through before we begin to wrestle and work out the tension in these cultural and theological issues. Francis Schaeffer once said if he had only one hour to share the gospel with a person, he would spend the first forty-five minutes finding out what the person believed about God and the last fifteen minutes presenting Christ from that basis. We need to know our context. Then we interpret that context and the methods used to communicate the gospel from a biblical lens. When this happens we can then begin to resolve some of the social and cultural issues that the gospel confronts in varying places, times, and people. The gospel is not interpreted through a cultural lens. Nor is the culture interpreted through the gospel lens. In my opinion, and I could be wrong, the gospel is embodied within a specific culture. Gospel and culture coexist. They do not live seperately from each other. You have to critique the culture from the biblical lens. And you have to critique the biblical lens to make sure that it hasn't been formed by culture, but instead by the Word of God. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we need to be careful to make sure we're not bring a gospel that has been conditioned and formulated by our culture. But instead bring the gospel that is transcendent of all cultures. A gospel that is about the story of human history of all people, in all places, and at all times. Not the gospel product of a modern, Westernized, middle class context.

What I'm Listening To This Week: Dave Crowder, Passion - Our Love Is Loud, Ben Harper - Welcome to the Cruel World, Ben Harper, Ben Harper - Fight For Your Mind, Ben Harper - The Will to Live, and Jack Johnson What I'm Reading This Week: The Gospel in a Pluralistic Society by Leslie Newbigin, Romans, Luke

Excerpt from James and the Giant Peach "It's too late to tell stories now," the Old-Green-Grasshopper announced. "It's time to go to sleep." "I refuse to sleep in my boots!" the Centipede cried. "How many more are there to come off James?" "I think I've done twenty so far," James told him. "Then that leaves eighty to go," the Centipede said. "Twenty-two, not eighty!" shrieked the Earthworm. "He's lying again." The Centipede roared with laugher. "Stop pulling the Earthworm's leg," the Ladybug said. This sent the Centipede inot hysterics. "Pulling his leg!" he cried, wriggling with glee and pointing at the Earthworm. "Which leg am I pulling? You tell me that?"

I think I've finally found the loop hole. The way I'm going to make it happen. After this semester I'll have a little over 55 hours left or 17 classes. If I continue taking 5 a semester. That means I can feasibly knock it out in 3 semesters. Or by the Spring of 2004. But I think I can take online classes, do extension work from the house, and be finished in a year. Or before next Christmas. Its crazy and I would have to do some rearranging. I'd have to get a computer to work from home, but I think its possible. I could transistion into another job or stay where I'm at, but instead start the a mini-church with students in the area on Saturday nights. This might actually work.

Where would I go to search after You? Where would I start? Did I choose You? No! You chose me. You came to me. Your understanding and mind are so beyond me. I was groping around in the dark. I was blind. How could I know what to look for? How would I describe You? But You came to me. You showed Yourself to me. You opened my eyes and revealed to me. You are the essence of everything. All of creation is an extension of You. How it all came to be, Your plan for everythign, it's insanity to the blind. My eyes are open and it seems crazy to me sometimes. A being that existed for all of eternity. Created a universe. Hurled a rock into the middle of it. Carved out oceans and planted life in the ground. Suspended it all by this thing called gravity. Then created man out of dust. Let a snake talk to them and deceive them. Flood the entire world but let some people live who built a boat big enough to carry all the animals of the world for 40 days. Pick a group of people out of the desert and put them on this small piece of land. Send Your Son, who is a part of triune being known as the Trinity, into these people. Send Him into those people through a 13 year old girl's virgin birth. Put Him in the most minimal of places. Made Him a carpenter. Then sent Him to a cross where His fishermen friend deserted Him. Killed Your Son. Raised Him from the dead. Through that covering my sins and restoring me into a right relationship with You. Then He ascended into heaven. Started a church with a bunch of rag tag cowards that has somehow lasted until this day. And now You wait in heaven, wherever that is, waiting to come and bring a city out of the sky. And even more, You chose me to be a part of this story, following in the line of Abraham, Moses, David, Peter, and Paul. Yeah . . . why could anyone think that is crazy? But as crazy as it is, its a story that I've given my life over too. You would think that the crazier the story is, the less believable it is. But for me, the crazier the story seems, the more sense it makes. Yeah its crazy. Its insanity. To the blind eye. But it makes sense to me. Its still crazy. Its still insanity. But its the kind that makes sense. And its the kind that I pour my life into.

What I'm Listening To This Week: Jack Johnson, Coldplay, Ryan Adams, The Rentals, Vines/Strokes/Hives Mix What I'm Reading This Week: The Gospel In A Pluralistic Society by Leslie Newbigin and Romans

It�s really frustrating and sad to sit, watch, and listen to someone who does not have a clue about what our purpose is. As individuals, as a church, as schools. I know I�m a screw-up. I have sin flowing through my veins. And I battle non-stop with sin and guilt and conviction. But I thank You that I�m some what in tune with your purpose, despite my sin. I�m glad that I�m not oblivious and operating on a kindergarten level. I�m not trying to sound proud because I know You see me and all my junk. So trust me, pride is not what�s bothering me. But its hard to watch somebody who it doesn�t �click� with. You know? Do You love them and their foolishness? Or does You see them as Pharisees? I really struggle with this. I wish I could just see what You see. That would make it so much easier. I wish I knew Your take on it. You know that it drives me crazy. I don�t have to tell You that. But it drives me absolutely nuts. I�m just torn between both sides. On one side I know that there is just as much grace in Your hands for them as there is for me. But on the other side, I don�t understand how they could be so far away on such key issues like methods, mission, Your heart, Your nature, grace, love. I try and let it go and focus only on what You want to do with me. What am I supposed to do? I want to challenge them to rethink some things just like I want to rethink some things. But they are so close-minded. But then again, maybe I�m being close-minded. I guess that�s what I�m asking. For You to show me Your heart and Your take on these people. I probably don�t need to know. Who am I to ask You to show me something? It�s not even really important when it comes to me and You.

I built a fort this weekend. Behind the couch, where the wall meets the piano and the treadmill runs perpendicular to the couch, I built a fort. Three blankets and one sheet strategically placed and delicately crafted. My fort took shape. I call it the Pythagorean Theorum because there are three sections. The entrance is A2. The heart of the fort (where I sleep) is B2. And the escape route/sun roof is C2. I sleep in my fort and I like it. The only problem there is, albeit small, is that there is no window facing the television. So I've been working on a few designs that would allow me to incorporate a small window or portal in which I can see the television and of course watch for attacks from my mortal and immortal enemies. I put a lamp at the top of C2 last night, in order that I can see to read before I go to bed. This afternoon, I think I might put in some audio equipment. This fort is actually an upgrade from where I previously slept. I've been sleeping on the couch for three weeks and lets just be honest, the couch is a boring bed. So I've promoted up to a fort. My fort is accomanpied by Matt's bed in the floor of the living room. No bed frame, just a mattress with sheets, comforter, and 2 pillows. So in the living room now is a fort and a bed. The funny thing is that Matt makes his bed up every morning. On the ground. If my bed was on the ground, I wouldn't make it up every morning. But he makes it up every morning and washes his sheets every other weekend. Interesting. Interesting indeed.

i borrow matt's jeep. roll the back window up. drop the windows in the front and put in some u2. electrical storm starts to play in the two speakers above my head. and i start to drive. i stick my hand out the window and the cool air runs through them effortlessly. my hair is still wet from the shower and the cool wind blows over it and around it, slowly drying it. i pull into the starbucks parking lot and i can hear the gravel crack under the tires. the leaves get brushed to the side as the jeep comes to a stop. i go in and order a caramel apple cider with no whip and extra cinnamon. now all my senses are at a peak level. i sit out on a bench on this worn deck overlooking a lake. the wind cuts across the water and gently rolls up my face before it heads out on its neverending journey. creation is playing with me. and i am enjoying it. i listen. i watch. i taste. i touch. everything is firing now. my awareness is sharp. my heart in tune. my focus clear. its one of those rare moments when I and God merge into one. and a moment freezes in time and becomes an experience that will shape who i am. everything clicks. the light goes on. the chief end of man truly is to enjoy God forever and i am enjoying Him despite my cracks, stains, busted attempts to please. a weak will. a tainted heart. a mind full of memories that i wish i could forget. feeble attempts at living. dirty hands. but yet in connection with a Creator. today i have fulfilled my purpose and found my meaning. and now the battle begins to stay in this place tomorrow. but its a fight that is worth fighting. there is beauty in the fight. there is prestige and glory in the midst of it. and there is enjoyment on the other side.

Part One I'm at a frustrating point in my life now. Nothing is really making sense. I know that when I came here, it made sense. I had a distinct realization that this is where I was supposed to be. I had a complete peace about it. Now I no longer know. In a matter of 18 months, my world and perceptions have radically changed to the extinct that I no longer know what I am supposed to be doing right now. The God that I served and was aware of 18 months ago is not the God that I embrace now. God, life, church. My understanding of all this has changed. And its so unbelievably frustrating for me now as I try to make sense of my former views and my present views and how they relate to my future. What middle ground is there, if any? I wish I knew what to do. I think I would know if only I could sort out and understand the difference in my views from 18 months ago up until now. Understanding (at least enough to function) God and which view of Him is biblical has been such a source of conflict for me. The God of my youth and my tradition or the God that I think I know now. I'm torn between the two and am in constant doubt of both sides. My heart is to reach people. I know I suck. I am whitetrash. The chiefest of all sinners. And a horrible man of God. But my heart is to reach people. And I know I have a gift for connecting with people. I can bring God to them where they realize that God loves them and is a relevant part of their lives. When I share with them, I see it clicks with them. They get that spark. The light turns on, if only for a minute. The only problem is, I work at a church. I go to seminary. And I never get to engage the world with my gift. I'm serving at Northpoint, but I don't get to make substantial life change in the guys I minister to. But I know if I could just find the time, I could be used in an incredible way to bring life change to students. There are students in Snellville and Alpharetta who look up to me. Who respect me. Who I have a relationship with that I could use as an instrument to bring about life change. But I'd have to make more time. Get rid of some of my schedule that is packed with school and work. So I've been in this constant state of tension between what seems rational to men and irrational to men. Between staying where I'm at for a season or leaving where I'm at. And ultimately alot of what I'm working through comes back to my view of God. And to what is his heart on this. Well I think He speaks through people, who have all cautioned me to stay put. And I think He speaks through circumstances, which would indicate that I probably need to stay put. But then I also thinks He speaks through His Word which shows that God doesn't do things according to the rationality of men. And He speaks to me as an individual. And seeing how I don't have any peace or satisfaction about the present and since I am in a constant state of restlessness, I don't know what to do.

The Plight of the Golden Goldfish (a reflective look into the life of a domesticated fish) by Josh Brown I'm sick and tired of watching fish suffer. Especially these fish that have the plants at the top with the little roots they're supposed to eat. I mean honestly, how many people do you see that get loads and loads of enjoyment out of these fish. Its not like they're dogs. They don't have names. They're not companions like dogs are. Or spider monkeys for that matter. They don't bring our life joy. We can't throw them a freaking bone. These fish don't brighten anyone's day. They sit like a picture on the wall. They're not pets. They're decoration. Live decoration. Its not trendy. Its a savage act of torture. What does the fish have to look forward to all day? A 24 hour day with nothing to do but swim around in a bowl with some roots all in his way. But wait . . . for 30 seconds, and hopefully every day (but sometimes not) their owner feeds them. And guess what? They get 30 seconds of pure bliss. 30 seconds of jubilation. Thats right, I said jubilation. They find fulfillment, meaning, and purpose in those 30 seconds. Then what? Back to another 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 30 seconds of boredom. Swimming and sleeping. Sleeping and swimming. In a bowl that would be comparable to us being locked in a small bathroom. And its not like the water is fresh. Here my heart. Listen to my plea. And consider freeing the domesticated fish.

I'm not feeling all to well today. A little on the sick side. But I'll survive. I've been sorting through some stuff in my head about where I want to go and what direction I want to take in the next few years. So we'll see where that takes me. I'm just trying to sort through the present in light of where I want to be in the future. And if you saw my present and if you know my heart for the future, then you can understand why I'm attempting to do some sorting. It looks like I'm going to take over a small group of 11th grade guys out at NorthPoint. My only hang up is that I want be able to be as involved as I'd like to because of my schedule and the distance. It would be hard to have lunch and go to their games and other assorted things. But I need to be serving somewhere, so it looks like thats the direction I'm going to take there. Theres some other stuff, I can't really talk about right now, because I don't want to get ahead of myself. But theres some stuff that I think is happening. Not sure what. I just really sense that God is moving behind the scenes, doing something. Life's a journey, so we'll see. Until then . . .

I was reading from a compliation of Soren Kierkegaard's writing and the editor wrote this in the introduction. He was discussing about the different levels of existence or the different stages of life that people are on. Sadly, the first and primary of the stages, sounds like me oftentimes. Here is how Kirkengard describes this stage: This life is a life that is immediately lived - a life lived for "the moment". It is the lifestyle in which people are absorbed in satisfying their "natural" desires and impulses, whether physical, emotional, or intellectual. These people are solely concerned with their own happiness and believe that the key to happiness is found in externals - who they know, what they do, the roles they play, what they possess, where they live, and so on. They live for enjoyment, on the surface of life. They are observers, spectators, tasters, but not serious participants. They have no real inner life, no real self to offer to others. Their well-being is determined by the choices or moods of others and by forces that extend beyond their control. When they make decisions, they are not internalized. I'll be dead honest. That's a pretty accurate description of me 90% of the time.

What I'm Reading This Week: The Gospel In A Pluralistic Society by Leslie Newbigin What I'm Listening to This Week: Aselin Debison, Iz, Ryan Adams, Dashboard Confessional, Moby

Meditations on Isaiah 14:26-27 "I have a plan for the whole earth, for my mighty power reaches throughout the world. The LORD Almighty has spoken--who can change his plans? When his hand moves, who can stop him?" Who am I to question You Lord? I am simply a man with limited wisdom and understanding. Who am I to try and understand Your plan? Your plan for redeeming? Your plan to seek justice on the world? What seems harsh to me is pure and perfect in Your sight. I am nothing but a man that is always changing. But I want my heart to be as yours. Bend it and tune it to You. Who am I to make such a request? I'm deserving of nothing. But I want to know Your heart. Find favor with me and let Your grace and discipline make my heart like You.

Much ado about God A big deal is due Him A huge fuss Loud voices He's everything The core of it all I'll draw attention Make everyone look Much grace to me So much glory to Him Big, huge, large What kind of words are these to describe God Much ado about Him though Thats for sure

The Heights by Dave Crowder Where are the greener pastures? Where are the quiet waters? The Sovereign Lord is my strength. You are my greener pastures. You are my quiet waters. The Sovereign Lord is my strength.

Starting to get restless again. Dissatisfied. Frustrated. Not sure why. I'm just really getting restless. With school. Where I'm at in life. But I'm going to keep giving it to God.

What I'm reading this week: Romans and James and the Giant Peach by Rohland Dahl What I'm listening to this week: Blues Traveler - Four, Norah Jones/John Mayer Mix, Ryan Adams Mix, Louis Armstrong Mix {its all about the mix}

It�s a good place to be when you�re in peace. Peace with God, peace with life, peace with your circumstances. There is a harmony that can only be found in that place. You can see the joy in everything. The meaning in everything. The passion and love. The life. It all clicks. If only for a moment, it clicks. These moments keep me going and they�re coming more and more frequently these days. I just look at people and smile. I hear things and I smile. I watch. I listen. And I smile. I�m seeing things that I�ve never seen before. I�m beginning to see everything clearer now. More focused. Almost slower. I wish I could stay in these moments forever. Where everything made sense and where I�m overwhelmed with calmness. But I know its going to pass. I�m going to let my circumstances come over me. I�m going to focus on the wrong thing. I�m going to turn my attention to something else. But I�ll be back. And soon. And maybe, just maybe . . . I�ll stay in that place for a while and maybe settle down and live there. I think I�d like that.

I survived the hike this weekend. It was a tough hike though but not as bad as I thought it was going to be. But 15 miles in 2 days with 35 lbs on my skinny, out of shape body was a tough assignment. But I made it. I had a cool little learning experience while I was out there though. Its kind of hard to explain without being there and seeing it. But it was a nice snapshot about wisdom that I got to see. I hiked with 3 guys this weekend. My friend Matt. Jerry, a guy in the church. And Dan, an associate pastor at a church. Dan and Jerry are the real deal hikers. They go alot. I, however, am not. I'm a rookie. My hiking partner for most of the trip was Dan. So for a good portion of the trip, I hiked alongside Dan. Asking him questions about hiking, trees, terrain. His pack was huge. He was carrying all the right equipment. All the food for the trip. Enough water to cook with, to clean with, and for him to drink. Essentially he was caring my provisions. He knew about the terrain and the different things that made it up. He knew the history of the trail. So, I got to walk behind Dan. With his huge pack and his hiking wisdom. Walking behind him, was me. With my puny little pack. No food. Only enough water for me to drink. And no knowledge of the trail or the terrain. I looked so small and ignorant in comparison to Him. And as I was walking behind him, I just got a little glimpse of how it is with me in ministry. I'm only 21 and yet so many times I think I know more or am more practical or that I have achieved all of this wisdom in the 5 years since I've been a Christian. But in reality, I'm an apprentice if you will. Having inadequate gear. Having inadequate provisions. Not understanding the past terrain, not knowing the present terrain, and not wise enough to interpret the future terrain. Like a child, I followed behind someone who has been where I have been. Who was so farther ahead of me in wisdom and knowledge. So for a couple of miles, I just followed behind Dan. Realizing that no matter how much that I thought that I had arrived, I was still just a child searching out for wisdom. Paling in comparison to those who have gone before me. And I realized, I'm 21. I'm not wise. I'm not always right. I don't have the right answers. I don't understand the past, the present, or the future like Dan. I don't know what gear to use in situations. I don't know how to read the terrain or the weather. I don't know as much as I think I do. And it was a humbling experience. But a reflective and meaningful experience. And maybe one day, I'll be walking in Dan's position. Imparting my knowledge, my experience, my wisdom to some "rookie." And maybe that young apprentice will look up at me and have the experience that I had.

In Your hands, there is the treasure of the earth. In Your heart, is a love to deep for me. There is a wisdom that is supreme. In Your body, a sacrifice was given. All things flow from You, All things return to You. Author and Finisher The Source Creator God Righteous Redeemer Patient Judge. And there is grace Without You There is nothing. What would I have without You? Where can I go to be satisfied? To be loved, to be wise To receive your treasure, Where can I go?

What I'm listening to this week: Ryan Adams mix, Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, Billy Bragg mix, Jack Johnson - Brushfire Fairy Tales, Mason Jennings - Blackbird, They Might Be Giants mix What I'm reading this week: All the Romans stuff still but I dropped Luther's commentary. And James and the Giant Peach by Rohland Dahl (a friend triggered my memory so I decided to go back and read it again) Song of the Week: Your Body Is A Wonderland by John Mayer {this song should be taken in the context of marriage :) }