welcome to the story.

i do find this to be rather pertinent. the making of the david crowder band's new album. it all started with a book from the early 60's acquired by my wife from an antique shop in downtown chicago. that, and a conversation with a very intelligent acquaintance of mine who is currently finishing his phd work in super string theory, and who happened to mention in very whimsical tone one sunny texas afternoon that we were, and i quote, "...walking around in the sky..." he said this while pointing to nothing in particular, "...you see, there is ground and there is sky and we are somewhere in between. we're walking around in it. our feet are on the ground but...." wait. i�m getting ahead of myself. like i said, it started with a book; �the story of atomic energy� by laura fermi (decd. 1977) who was peace activist and wife of famed physicist enrico fermi, (decd. 1954) with whom the atomic age arrived. the fermi national accelerator laboratory, which is home to the most powerful atom collider in the world, is located just outside of chicago. i found it fascinating that my wife would procure this particular book from a shop in this particular city. the book�s cover is pale green, definitive 60s green if you ask me, with what one would assume to be the representation of an atom in a complimentary 60�s pale yellow set against it. it is the familiar depiction of a nucleus and some number of electrons swirling about. i was immediately enthused by this icon as i have an affinity toward semiotics and symbols and iconography and drew satisfaction that a book about energy had a representation symbolizing energy on it's cover. no words, just pale yellow on pale green and through symbol i understood that energy was inside. and here is why this simple thing would inspire a collection of songs: this model is improper in it�s depiction of particle matter. we know in fact that electrons do not circle in elliptical paths around a nucleus. and this is the difficulty with symbols. they are never quite proper. they are always a bit broken. and as i held this book in my hands, frozen in the middle of an intersection in downtown chicago, while this inadequate drawing roused simultaneously both hope of discovery and reminiscence of destruction in my chest i thought, �this is the essence of art. we are creating broken containers.� � then came the eschatology of bluegrass. one evening, after hearing our band play in Dallas Texas, the grandfather of one of our guitar players stated, and i quote, �you boys should do a bluegrass number as it is the superior variety of music!� and so it was that we stumbled into this vast genre of song, written, in a religious sense, almost exclusively in regards to the ever after, the sweet-by-and-by, or flying away to glory. i was at first troubled by what seemed a glaringly unbalanced doctrinal depiction of the kingdom of heaven as i have the fear that this approach to christian living has lead many a person�s head into the clouds and allowed for justifications of neglect in bringing the kingdom of heaven into the here and now. then a close friend of mine was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. it had spread. it was everywhere. liver. brain. lymph nodes... everybody wants to go to heaven. � we settled on �i saw the light� by hank williams. by way of johnny cash. � what i am about to relate is nothing short of miraculous. we met the fabulous marty stuart at the dove awards a year ago. at age thirteen, mandolin prot�g� marty stuart found himself on the road with bluegrass legend lester flatts and peers in the likes of roy acuff, ernest tubb, bill monroe and grandpa jones. after lester�s death in 1979 the next band he would join was johnny cash�s (decd. 2003). marty is a living history of country music. and there he was backstage wearing a black suit, aglow in rhinestones, sparkling down both sleeves and spanning the back of the jacket in the shape of a very large cross. his hair was flawless and bigger than mine. he wore shades. none of this would have been entirely strange if not for the fact our guitar player, who�s grandfather�s fault this whole bluegrass thing was, had suggested exactly one day prior, �we should get marty stuart to help us with the bluegrass number.� we gathered around a microphone in johnny cash�s cabin and recorded the song with marty just outside of hendersonville tennessee; two of hank�s verses, the one of johnny�s and one of mine. � the rest of �a collision� was recorded in waco texas in the barn behind my house. the barn was built in 1885 by the then waco corner drugstore owner and local alchemist wade morrison. it�s color is the most perfect of faded barn reds, very close in color to that of a dr. pepper can holding the delectable beverage whose origins are mr. morrison�s corner store. local lore has it that this barn was home to morrison�s horse, incidentally named pepper. � we documented the whole process online with weblogs and four (a significant number for us) webcams running 24 hours a day for four weeks. near the end of our tracking i posted an invitation, to all who were tuning in, to join us in the barn for a hoedown and some group singing. and our friends came in cars and planes, from california, tennessee, arkansas, georgia, colorado, and more extraordinary places far and near. i wish you could have been there! there was a bbq smoker in the shape of a pistol 10 feet tall. (the meat goes in the chamber and the smoke comes out of the barrel.) it was true texas culinary indulgence met with ocular and aromatic stimulation. we ate. we laughed. we shook our heads at the distances traveled. and we sang. we sang at the top of our lungs. these good folks sang like they meant it. � for the past two years i have ended most nights in concert with the following statement: �when our depravity meets his divinity it is a beautiful collision.� this recording is about that collision. it is the collision of our fallen state and our maker�s transcendence. it is a rendering of our mortality and eternal life. it is about the tension that exists in the living of life, here, where the sky meets the broken earth. it is about a tsunami in east asia. it is about a sunrise over hiroshima. it is about too many who know intensely what pain the word cancer holds and the words of my friend whispered in my ear, �it�s ok. none of us are getting out of here alive you know.� it is about victory. it is about the joy that comes when blood tests come back and a miracle is announced. it is the hope in a rescue that has come. the hope in a rescue that has found us. and the relentless hope in a greater rescue that is still coming. one that has not yet arrived but is no less present. this music, broken, improper and inadequate in its response is rooted in that hope. the kingdom of heaven is here and now and coming. � �...here it comes, a beautiful collision is happening now.�

my tribue to Warhol and Cash

4th Avenue Jones, Coldplay, Johnny Cash, Bob Dylan, The Eels, Lovedrug

Harry Potter is great. 450 pages in 24 hours. I'm nervous. Whose going to die?!?

Johnny Cash Man In Black Well, you wonder why I always dress in black, Why you never see bright colors on my back, And why does my appearance seem to have a somber tone. Well, there's a reason for the things that I have on. I wear the black for the poor and the beaten down, Livin' in the hopeless, hungry side of town, I wear it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime, But is there because he's a victim of the times. I wear the black for those who never read, Or listened to the words that Jesus said, About the road to happiness through love and charity, Why, you'd think He's talking straight to you and me. Well, we're doin' mighty fine, I do suppose, In our streak of lightnin' cars and fancy clothes, But just so we're reminded of the ones who are held back, Up front there ought 'a be a Man In Black. I wear it for the sick and lonely old, For the reckless ones whose bad trip left them cold, I wear the black in mournin' for the lives that could have been, Each week we lose a hundred fine young men. And, I wear it for the thousands who have died, Believen' that the Lord was on their side, I wear it for another hundred thousand who have died, Believen' that we all were on their side. Well, there's things that never will be right I know, And things need changin' everywhere you go, But 'til we start to make a move to make a few things right, You'll never see me wear a suit of white. Ah, I'd love to wear a rainbow every day, And tell the world that everything's OK, But I'll try to carry off a little darkness on my back, 'Till things are brighter, I'm the Man In Black.

As if my day couldn't get any better . . . Crowder is coming . . . and the track listing is perhaps the best named set of tracks I've ever seen in my entire illustrious life. Track Listing: 1. everybody wants to go to heaven (a walk downstairs) 2. come and listen 3. here is our king 4. wholly yours 5. foreverandever etc... 6. (a quiet interlude) 7. be lifted or hope rising 8. i saw the light 9. o god where are you now (in pickeral lake? pigeon? marquette? mackinaw?) 10. a beautiful collision 11. (b quiet interlude) 12. do not move 13. come awake 14. you are my joy 15. our happy home 16. we win! 17. rescue is coming (b walk downstairs) 18. lark ascending or (perhaps more acurately i�m trying to make you sing)

crowder's new cd 

The most unfortunate thing about going on a budget so that you can be an adult and have adult things like a house is that you have to give up some things. Yesterday I went shopping for a Harry Potter costume for the book release. If I was really cool and had time I would have made my own. But . . . I came across a Dumbledore robe for $35 which would need complimentary pieces such as a grey, silvery wig, a velvet hat, and glasses. Easily make the purchase price well over $50. So in order to be faithful to our budget, I decided to get a $5 costume. And the only thing in the $5 costume bin was a Draco Malfoy Slytherin child's large cloak. Hardly sounds exciting. But I will make it. It's to small. It's a child's large. And its freaking Draco. I might as well be sleeping with Lord Voldemort. But it's ok. The weekend will be great. Harry Potter release party at Barnes & Noble. Willy Wonka. And Weezer and The Bravery. Sounds enchanting does it not?

Before I can do things that fulfill me and are in alignment with my heart, I must begin to get my heart and myself in alignment with God. That�s why I feel restless and discontent. I�m running in circles. I'm not entirely passionate about what I'm doing. I don't fill as if I'm living my life the way Jesus would have lived it. I feel like I'm selling out. I feel like I'm missing the point. I feel like I'm to corporate and to much on the fringes of making a difference instead of being at the epicenter of change. But my life is not where it needs to be. Better yet, I'm not where I need to be. I'm more concerned about all this other stuff with culture and the church and philosophy and personalities than I am with moving my life into alignment with the Spirit. Lately, that has been a very low priority in my life. And now, I will attempt to move it back up the ladder. Check out the following link to go through a Jesuit prayer exericse every morning. It really is very helpful in beginning the day. Peaceful and perspective adjusting. http://www.sacredspace.ie/

Pre-Wired The Mirror To catch everybody up since it�s been a couple of weeks since we last met, we�ve been talking about worship and in specific, how every one of us in here is �Pre-Wired� for worship. All of us, whether we believe in God or don�t believe in God, whether we go to church every day or come once a year, everybody in here, everybody in your school, everybody in the United States, everybody in the world . . . worships something. The first week we made the point that �worship� is simply the expression of what you value the most. And this expression of what we value is evidenced by what we put ourselves behind. When something has value to us, we begin to realign our time, money, heart, resources, passion, mind . . . in short . . . our lives behind whatever it is. If you value Georgia Bulldog football . . . you begin to put your time, money, passion behind Georgia Bulldog football. If you value your car, you begin to put your time, money, and passion behind your car. There�s nothing necessarily wrong with placing value on those things. I place a high amount of value on Anna. I do this with my actions. I do this with my time. I do this with my thoughts. I do this with my heart. I do this with my talents. Whatever it takes to show that I value her, I do. So there is nothing wrong with placing value on Georgia football or your car or your fianc�. But if begin to place more value on her with my actions than I do with God, there�s a disconnect with what I�m worshipping. If all I do is worship Anna, I�m a stalker. If all you do is worship Georgia football, you�re a fanatic. If all you do is worship your car, you�re weird. What we value is what we worship. And the best indicator in determining just exactly what it is that we value, and in essence what it is that we worship . . . is our checkbook and our calendar. If you take a look at where you spend your money and where you spend your time, I can tell you what it is that you worship and value. Then last week Matt showed us how our lives are meant to be lived. How more than what we say or believe, our lives are to be the soundtrack to God�s story. That God doesn�t want us to just say we believe in Him or to be able to recite correct theology. God is looking for people, who with their lives will become the soundtrack for His story. That when people look at our lives, they will be able to make sense of God, they will be able to understand God, they will be able to get a better and clearer picture of what�s important to God because when they look at our lives, they hear the soundtrack that our lives produce and understand the story of God because of it. Paul explains this idea of worship for us in a passage in Romans 12. To kind of set this passage up you have to read a couple of chapters before it. In the preceding chapters, Paul is explaining to the Romans about how God is working in the world. And how he is not only saving the Jewish people. But how he is saving the Gentile people. He even begins to explain a little bit of how God saves people. Really, really deep stuff. He is basically explaining salvation and how it is so complex and so beautiful and confusing and amazing yet still a reality. The reason Paul was writing this was because the Romans were beginning to question God and how his salvation worked. They were questioning why God would allow the Jews to be saved after all the stuff that they had done that had contradicted Him. Many of the Jews had played a part in the crucifixion of Jesus. Had been stubborn throughout the ages and basically given God a cold shoulder. And the Gentiles were mad that the Jews were still God�s chosen people despite this behavior and how it appeared that they had turned their backs on God and walked away. And then in Romans 11, Paul explains to the Gentiles how God�s ways are much bigger than theirs. And then he asks them a series of questions. This is typically referred to as the doxology of the Bible. Paul writes, Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep wisdom? It's way over our heads. We'll never figure it out. Is there anyone around who can explain God? Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do? Anyone who has done him such a huge favor that God has to ask his advice? Everything comes from him; Everything happens through him; Everything ends up in him. Always glory! Always praise! Yes. Yes. Yes. � Romans 11:33-36 Paul is basically saying . . . Who are you to question God? Why are you worrying about the Jews anyway? It�s only because of their stubbornness that I�m even turning my attention to you now. Don�t worry about them. Worry about yourselves. Quit worrying about why I still consider them friends. Instead worry about what you should do now that you are friends with me. Then Paul begins to explain why God saved them. What they were supposed to do. Paul begins to tell them how to move past worrying about others and begins to explain to them what worship really is in the next verses, Romans 12:1-2. So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life--your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life--and place it before God as an offering. (Another translation of the Bible translates it as �this is your spiritual act of worship�) Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Paul is basically saying, God wants you to quit arguing and begin living. Quit talking and begin acting. Quit complaining and begin to allow your life to echo God. Real worship is more than singing. Real worship is more than going to church. Real worship is more than raising your hand. Real worship is more than lighting a bunch of candles. Real worship is more than words, more than songs, more than church. Real worship is about taking your everyday, ordinary life and allowing it to become the soundtrack to God�s story. Allowing your life to begin to reflect the things that are important to God. Allowing your life to begin to reflect God�s heart. Paul was writing this because they were so wrapped up in what everybody else was doing or not doing. Just like us they were so caught up in everybody else, so caught up by everything around them that they lost sight of what was important. And as a side note, Paul actually provides them with a way to influence the Jews. Blaming them and resenting them and starting arguments with them was not going to influence them or point them in the right direction. So Paul reminds them, live your lives in a way that is different. Don�t worry about them. Worry about yourselves. Paul also reminds them, �Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God.� When we value God more than we value the things around us, or the things culture tells us, we begin to reflect God clearer and better. Our culture tells us our checkbooks and calendars should reflect us. We should spend our money on hundred dollar outfits and expensive cars and loaded out houses. Culture tells us we should value our free time. We should spend our time watching TV shows, playing XBOX, hanging out with our friends. And there is nothing wrong with those things in and of themselves. But when they begin to have more value in our lives than God does, we begin to worship them instead. And you can say, I go to church. I�m in the youth group. My parents are Christians. I�m a good person. I sing songs. I raise my hands. I worship God. But do you really value God? What do you do with your free time? What do you do with your resources? What do you spend your money on? What do you with your passions? What do you spend your time thinking about? In essence, what has value in your life? Actions are more important than words. Living rightly is more important than simply believing theology rightly. That�s why our lives are like mirrors. They will reflect what is valuable and important to us. When things other than God have higher value in our life, we lose our ability to reflect God. And we begin to reflect other things to those around us. And we begin to reflect those things to God. So when we sing our songs to God, all He sees is our mirror that is reflecting our boyfriend or girlfriend, or our car, or our sports team. When we try to influence our friends and share with them about God, all they will see is a mirror that is reflecting everything but God. That is why worship is more than words or a belief, it is about our actions. Our everyday, ordinary lives and how they are either reflecting God or reflecting something else.

Disclaimers: I�m not a communist, a socialist, a Marxist, or a fascist. I�m a capitalist by default (although, one could make the argument that God was much more of a communist than he was a capitalist by reading the book of Acts). I�m also neither a Democrat nor a Republican, a liberal or a conservative, a Christian or a non-Christian. I am simply a God follower seeking freedom from all labels and definitions that come from anyone or anything other than Him. Today is July 7th. Three days ago we celebrated July 4th. Great day with warm fuzzy feelings. Flags, fireworks, and patriotism. And now my thoughts. To servicemen and women, veterans of wars to quickly forgotten, patriots who are protecting and fighting in my place, on my behalf, today . . . I say thank you. You have more heart, courage, and strength than I could ever muster. I applaud you and stand by you. To my government, I think 75% of you are corrupt because you use 25% of my earnings to finance your thousand dollar meals and your thousand dollar prostitutes. You waste money. You use me. You lie to us. You use events, policy, and people in an effort to maneuver for power and position. And for that I am disappointed. The only thing more disappointing is that I continue to sit still and do nothing to provide a better solution. I am a part of the problem as much as you are Mr. & Ms. Politician. To the 25% of you who aren�t corrupt or who are only half-corrupt, thank you for wanting to be a part of the solution and fighting for me when I won�t fight for myself. To the church . . . (notice the barrage of quotation marks that are about to follow) the �godly�, white, suburban, middle-class, �Christianized�, Republican, �patriotic�, �moral�, �right wing�, �Conservative Christian Coalition�, American Church. I dislike you. I continually fight to have the same amount of grace and patience for you that God has for me. But its hard and I�m not going to pretend that its not. I dislike you more on days like the 4th of July. I dislike you more for what you turn that day into in your churches. You romanticize our government�s leaders. Democrats are going to hell. Republicans are Christian angels with your best interest in mind. Sarcasm implied. In fact you don�t just romanticize. You over-romanticize. You�ve created a fairy tale of what our government is today. How it was created. And how putting God back in our country, the 10 Commandments back on the courtroom wall, and prayer back in school is going to save our government in the future. As if policy had more potential for life change than God does. Now for my thoughts on the over romanticizing of God and our country by the church on this 4th of July. We sing the Star Spangled Banner, God Bless America, and talk about how God is on our side and we are his chosen people. And everyone else in the world is wrong and immoral and unrighteous and sinners. And yet we are some of the fattest, most obese, consumeristic, racist, jealous, prideful, laziest, apathetic, money hoarding people in the world. We are the immoral. We are the unrighteous. We are the sinners. I am the immoral. I am the unrighteous. I am the sinner. As to the forming of our country. Remember, that those who write history are usually the people who are in power. Therefore, their historical perspective comes from the fact that they �won� the fight, �won� the battle, �won� the argument, �won� the right to be heard. All of history is written from that perspective. Those who win get to write how they won and how those who lost were wrong. But what about those who have lost? Do their voices have value? Do their perspectives have value? Are they able to offer their voices when it comes to writing to history? Now as to the forming of our country, an address to the over-romanticizing of its Godly heritage. We talk about how our forefathers were seeking freedom. And wanted religious freedom. It�s important to note that they were seeking �freedom� FROM things not �freedom� FOR things. They were not seeking freedom FOR the oppressed or marginalized, i.e. women, slaves, men who didn�t own property. They were seeking freedom FROM Britain, FOR themselves (white, wealthy landowners) and themselves only. Enough of the over romanticizing that they were seeking freedom for those who didn�t have voices. They were simply seeking freedom from their �big brother� who kept beating up on them. They were looking out for themselves, the wealthy, white, landowners. They were paying money and taxes to Britain that they didn�t want to pay. It had nothing do with God or moral purposes as history claims. It was not even for social purposes. It was for their own economic purposes. They were probably nice guys. I�m not saying they were evil. Or there seeking freedom was wrong. Or that I wouldn�t have done the same thing. But I am saying that they are not martyrs. They were not Christians fighting for God�s rights, God�s freedoms for all. They were using God to justify their own economic oppression and used God as a tool to oppose it. And that�s all I have to say. My blood pressure is going up. Hebrews 11:12-16 That's how it happened that from one man's dead and shriveled loins there are now people numbering into the millions. Each one of these people of faith died not yet having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world. People who live this way make it plain that they are looking for their true home. If they were homesick for the old country, they could have gone back any time they wanted. But they were after a far better country than that--heaven country. You can see why God is so proud of them, and has a City waiting for them. 1 Peter 2:11 Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it.