welcome to the story.

Cause I'm half the man I used to be.

Dr. Mapes response to my closing response and then following that is my final remarks to his closing remarks. I have heard a couple of criticisms to which I would like to respond. The first criticism is if you can not fully understand an issues (such as the pre- post- tribulation issue) than it is a waste of time to even spend any time studying it. Revelation 1.3 says "Blessed is he that readeth and they that hear the words of this prophecy." God, the Son, referring specifically to the book of the Revelation of Jesus Christ said that the man who studies and reads what the Revelation contains will be blessed. Let me see . . . . God says the person is blessed who reads and hears . . . . others say it is a waste of time. Hmmm! I wonder who is right? Why do we denigrate the Scripture by saying God gave us something worthless? Seems to me that all Scripture is given by inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine and instruction in righteousness so that the man of God may be perfect (complete or mature). We cannot teach the Christian message without first learning it. It is simply a sham to say that those who study the doctrines of the Bible do not care about people. You may point to the thief on the cross and say what could he have learned in such a short time? First, it is an argument from silence and those are notoriously weak. Second, he did not have to live the Christian life. You do. Third, he did not have to teach or disciple others as Jesus said in the Great Commission. You do. The second criticism that has been voiced is studying God's word leads to a dead, dry religion which does not care about the world. It is interesting to me that the greatest missionary to which the world has yet to find an equal was also a man that excelled in learning above his peers. It is also interesting that when God used a human instrument to write His Word that He chose this man to write some of the most profound Scripture in the Bible. The fideistic error that a person should live in the realm of "faith" (or at least their definition of it) and simply "be led" by the Holy Spirit has produced and is producing some serious doctrinal deviations that are well on the way to becoming heresy (The "Becoming God" article is one such example. It has grievously misinterpreted both the nature of man and the nature of God). These heresies will seriously challenge the very Gospel they claim to believe. But of what importance is that as long as there is a "fervor" present in the "worshippers." It is time we get back to the balance that the Apostle Paul had and lose the idea that learning = dead religion. Learning provides the foundation out of which comes our practical theology--no foundation, no good practical theology = people die and go to hell for lack of knowledge. When Paul wrote to the Philippians, he had a practical theology problem. Two women were fussing in the church causing division and strife and hence hindering the message of the church. Before Paul even attempts to "solve" the problem with "practical" theology, he launches into the doctrine of the incarnation in chapter 2. There he has given us some of the most profound insights on the person of Jesus Christ and what God, the Son, did for sinful man. From this foundational, doctrinal dissertation, Paul draws an incredible picture of the mind of Christ. God, the Son, for no profit of his own willingly left the exalted position of worship due to Him as God and took on the form of a human servant. If God could so willingly gave up what He rightly deserved to take a phenomenal step down for our sakes, is it not possible for Christians, who are on the same plane of existence, to give up their petty wants and desires for the benefit of the mission of the church (Notice we are not talking about giving up sound doctrine in this context, or losing sound doctrine to get along. It is simply a matter of giving up our own petty wants). Paul having laid the foundation in chapter 2 could then address the problem in chapter 4. The Church is still in need of thinking like Christ thought today In the book of Ephesians, Paul spent the first three chapters laying a solid, theological foundation before he attempted to address the practical problem of Christian behavior in the last three chapters. Somebody evidently forgot to tell Paul he was wasting his time on such matters as being in Christ, predestination, foreknowledge, sealed with the Spirit, etc. Of what value is it Paul to bring up things that cannot be fully understood? Don't you know Paul that all we have to do is just believe? Don't you know Paul that if you continue to study and address such issues you will become dry and irrelevant to the world? It is my contention that Paul's zeal was fueled by his knowledge. Paul said that knowledge for knowledge's sake results in pride (1 Cor 13.2). On the other hand, knowledge allowed Paul to know the excellency of Jesus Christ (Phil 3.8). God gave the teaching offices to the church so that the members could be perfected (Eph 4.11-13) until "we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God. If Paul thinks so highly of doctrine, why is it we do not? My response: I never said we shouldn't study to show ourselves approved nor that we shouldn't "do" theology. I believe it is a very central part of my Christian practice. As a matter of fact, I study a little over 2 hours a day and read at least one book a week. Right now I'm currently reading an 800 page systematic theology. Not for school, not for any assignment, but because I love to study and love knowledge. I'm all about studying. I'm all about being intelligent. And I'm all about theology. All I was suggesting in this post and in a previous post was that we approach theology with a little more humility and perhaps "do" theology in a different way. A way more in line with the apostle Paul, Jeremiah, and the other biblical writers. Unfortunately for us, because I do not think we see this yet, we are not approaching or "doing" theology like the ancient saints from the 1st couple of centuries. No we are "doing" theology with narrow, arrogant minds out to prove our Southern Baptist points. You said in your last paragraph that Paul spent a lot of time laying out theological foundations before he addressed the practical implications for this theology. I agree. I think we should as well. Paul is very systematic in his approach to theology. But he always comes back to the relational, narrative, incarnational side of his knowledge. But one could argue the other way as well. When you look at the book of Romans, and in specific the middle portion, say Romans 5-11, you see one of the most systematic, well laid out, structured theological discourses the church has ever seen. But then what do you see in Romans 11? The doxology where Paul writes . . . Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him? For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen." Thats how he wrapped up his systematic discourse . . . with "Whoa! Thats good stuff, but at the end of the day . . . God is so beyond me . . . so infinite . . . thats its tough for me to get a solid handle on everything. Oh the depth and the riches of studying and trying to find it and finding little pieces here and a bigger piece here, but in the end still falling short of knowing God in fullness! Thats why I can't wait to arrive in heaven because then I fully know God. Not in an entirely systematic way but in a relational, narrative, incarnational way. To him be the glory forever! Amen." In a perfect world, like the life of Paul, our knowledge should create in us a zeal for Him and the world. But sadly, it usually just leaves us in a cyclical motion with zeal for God and nothing for the world. Much like the world of the Pharisees, in-grown with their own knowledge, fattened, puffed up and good for no one but their closed door churches. And that is what a lot of our churches look like today. Sure they can tell you about predestination and their conservative, Christian eschatalogical views and they can tell you about their right-wing, Republican politics, but they can't stop long enough to wonder why there church doesn't reach people like the New Testament churches did. Look at the last 100 years of the church and our way of doing theology. Within the last 100 years this approach to theology suppressed African-Americans in our own churches less than 50 years ago. Now its homosexuals. If our knowledge was creating in us so much zeal, then how come our churches (as a whole and a majority) aren't the beacons of light that they were called to be? How come coming home from school, in a 10 mile stretch down Highway 124, can I pass 26 churches in one of the most densely populated areas in the metro? If our knowledge was doing what it was supposed to do, we wouldn't have all the schisms and divisions we have. And the rigid, arrogant mindset that keeps us from getting out of our pews and into the world. Thats why I am attempting to approach theology in a different way. A way more ancient than modern. A way more holistic than individualistic. A way more sacred than American. A way more contextual than white, suburban middle class. But I'm probably wrong in this way because the way we have approached theology and used our knowledge over the past 100 years has definitely worked real well.

You can tell when a storm is near, both with the weather and the personal. They roll in on hot, muggy afternoons when the world's been undisturbed for a while. And what was once stillness, all to quickly became loud. So it rained. Underneath an umbrella that refused to lose its battle with its master, I sat and waited for clarity of thought and weather to return. The umbrella would always be subject to the rule of the rain, for everything that is created in response to something is always bound to its yoke. But today it was giving us all hope that we could create and yet still be free. I waited under the umbrella and she waited in the pool. I'm sure she was hoping that I was as color blind as she clearly was. The rain bounced off the ground and onto my feet. Then it bounced on my legs. The it bounced on my body. Then it bounced on my arms. Then finally to the brown pages of my text. I wanted to put the book down in order to keep it dry, but feared having nothing to do with my mind more. She never took her eyes off me. I know this sounds vain, but swear on my life to its validity. Whether lonely, simply attracted to American men, being caught up in the moment of swimming in the rain, or a combination of them all, I do not know. The truth in her eyes remained and compelled just the same. Previously ignorant to the fact that Trinidad skin could be so beautiful and caramelized, I now was immersed in this full reality. The rain in her face rolled down her body, stopping only long enough to twinkle at me before its slow return to the heavens. The beauty and pain of being stuck in moment like this. The only thing constraining me from giving in to the game that she was playing with her eyes is a thin strand of discipline tied to the fabric of the spiritual. The sad thing was that it is getting weaker by the minute. Not that it was ever strong to begin with, but now hangs on the blade of an ax waiting to be cut. Like a guitar string that is being wound way to sharp, I sat and tried to concentrate on something higher. Soft as a wispy feather and hard as a rock in the most delicate sense of the phrase. And the only thing keeping me in my seat is a soggy copy of The Moviegoer by Walker Percy. I begged for the words to bring salvation to me in my hour of need. I promised to bleed them dry if they would just ring true. And as clearly as the bell started to chime, I began to drink in my redemption. "What a fool I've been!" She lays both hands on my arm and takes no notice of the smell of the hour. She is nowhere; she is in the realm of her idea. "Do you think it is possible for a person to make a single mistake-not do something wrong, you understand, but make a miscalculation-and ruin his life? My God, can a person live twenty-five years, a life of crucifixion, through a misunderstanding?" And with that the first and only chance to taste native Trinidad rolled off with the afternoon storm as I was left only with a torn feeling, slightly less painful than before. As the haze rose upward, so went my thoughts. Rufus echoed in my head, "It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah", as the noise faded to a quiet as white as a fresh linen sheet.

When pushed to the wall, will I decide I love shadows rather than light, my pet pleasures more than spiritual authenticity? Will I lose heart right at the point I most need to press on?

What I'm Reading This Week: The Moviegoer by Walker Percy and Finding Faith by Brian McLaren What I'm Listening To This Week: Mason Jennings, Bruce Springstein, David Crowder, Radiohead, and Rufus Wainwright

The Five Most Beautiful Hollywood Women My Age Who Might Go Out With Me If I Was A Big Timer And Lived In Hollywood And Was Famous And We Met And Went Out And Got A Chance To Talk List 1. Natalie Portman 2. Mischa Barton 3. Katie Holmes 4. Kerri Russell 5. and somebody else whose way to hot to write down I'm sure

I wish I could drink her away. I only beg for a chance to stand in front of her. Walking away would be better than absence. Parting is such sweet sorrow, but not in this case. Because at least I would have lived, at least I would have touched. I love Natalie Portman.

My closing remarks for my online class from this summer to all the people who got mad at me during the semester. I'd like to add a few closing remarks regarding the exegesis of this and the other subjects that we've covered this semester so that I perhaps I can avoid being labeled a flower child or fruit. Although there is nothing wrong with those distinctions, I would prefer to be known as student of the Word, of theology, of thought, and of culture. On subjects of theology such as this, where there is obviously still a great divide between a consensus and our interpretations, I attempt, as previously outlined or hinted at in nearly all of my posts, that I approach the text not only from a scientific viewpoint but from a poetical or narrative view as well. I am not referring to narrative theology (although I do not agree with the way conservative Christianity has defined it) I do take a more narrative approach to theology and God. In this way, I can approach the Bible as the ongoing story of redemption and not as individual parts to be abstractly studied. I believe that is one of the major flaws of systematic theology. It makes theology a science and it reduces the study of God down to modernistic science, which is an approach that I'm not comfortable using at all times in my study of Scripture. While I do take a very systematic approach in my studies and readings, I also take a narrative or poetical approach. This is the approach that St. Ignatius used frequently as he would place himself in the different shoes of those in the gospels. It is an approach with many flaws as well as strengths. Just as a systematic approach to theology has many flaws and many strengths. Perhaps we might be viewing "exegesis" from a much to narrow mindset. Maybe the goal of exegesis is for us to be able to approach the text from a variety of different angles and with a variety of different layers. In this way exegesis would be more holistic than the one-sided way in which it is predominantly done now. In reality, there is not much difference between the way you approach a text and the way I do. You approach it from a systematic angle and by doing so you are out to find facts, observations, laws, theories, and points that usually tend to be more abstract. While I approach it from a narrative/poetic angle and by doing so I allow the text to read me, instead of me reading it. This allows me to immerse myself in the ongoing story of the past, present, and future. In this way I can see how the text serves as a hinge, catalyst, bump in the road, or springboard in the ongoing story. Passages of Scripture don't become isolated, detached pieces of information to be broken down and memorized, but they instead becoming living, breathing stories that force me to enter and immerse myself into the story. One of the reasons I choose to study Scripture through this lens is because of the diversity of opinion that forces my interpretation to be stretched and intellectually thought through. In this way, I can openly discuss theology and learn from those who do not operate under my plausibility structure or theological framework. In this mode of thinking, I can learn from an Eastern Orthodox priest as well as I can from a Southern Baptist preacher, from a 80 year old theologian and from a child, from a poverty stricken third-world Christian and from a financially stable, wealthy American Christian, from a man and from a woman. Obviously, those with more experience will have more to contribute to the table knowledge wise, but those with more naivete might be able to contribute more to the table wisdom wise. The reason I have attempted to approach exegesis in this fashion is that, to be perfectly honest, I have become very disillusioned with the way the modern, post-Enlightenment (especially the past 100 years) church has handled the text. This was evident over my "disgruntlement" on the Atonement Assignment. I did not enjoy the Spirit of that conversation or many of the simplistic answers that did not leave room for mysterious layers of complexity. I am also tired of watching church splits, friendships end, and denominations torn over areas that we will never have a full and comprehensive understanding of this side of heaven. Growing up in my home church in Alabama, before I even became a Christian and an amateur theologian, I had to listen every week after church as the members would stand around and argue the nuances of some remote passage in Numbers. Or better yet, they would sit around and argue about the new resolution that the Alabama Baptist or Southern Baptists just passed. Then as I matured, I got to learn about why I'm not supposed to be in this man's Sunday School class because he teaches Calvinism or in this man's class because he doesn't use the KJV of the Bible. And later on, I got to learn how the great and mighty (sarcasm implied) Southern Baptist Convention was hanging on the blade of a knife over this "Calvinism/election" debate. As a lost kid, this was such a beautiful portrait of a community of faith that I wanted to sign right up and start living a life like these guys. Yeah right . . . that is why I went off and did my own thing until God opened my eyes to the fact that not all Christians are Pharisees. I was discontent with this arrogant, elitist approach to Scripture. So I've attempted to focus on a few grand essentials. And in these essentials, unity; in the nonessentials, diversity; and in all things charity. Hopefully I've shown that spirit in everything that I've discussed this semester, never condescending, but always valuing the rich diversity of interpretation present among this class. Unfortunately, I think I may have failed in that regard on a few occasions as I have let my passion speak without discernment and clarity. I know as a 22-year-old college student in a graduate level class, that I do not have much to offer in the way of knowledge and experience. But what I do hope and pray that I have offered throughout this semester, is a fresh perspective on theology - whether poetic, narrative, or systematic. I know this approach has frustrated many of you. If I had a dollar for every person who has been frustrated with me in my 3 years here at Luther Rice, I'd be well on my way to a nice fortune. I'm sorry that my approach to theology and methodology ruffles so many feathers. I do not purposefully intend to do that. I do however, intend to stretch my thinking as well as the thinking of others in a didactic and sometimes paradoxical way. With that I approach, I hope I have contributed in some small sense to this classroom and our assignments.

What I'm Reading This Week: Finding Faith by Brian McLaren

If you keep your eyes opened during the day you are bound to see something that is either intriguing or weird. Usually for me, what I see lies in between the two. Two experiences today with two different faces but with one thought in my mind during both of them that rest in between the two, the intriguing and weird. Beginning with the blonde hair kid with the sheepish grin on his face. Kind of the bewildering smile that you might find on the face of Rick Moranis. Part devilish, part na�ve, part stupid. He could even have some mental deficiencies but that doesn�t seem to be the case at this point. If he would just look at me in the eyes and stop scooting back and forth across the restaurant floor, I might be able to get a good handle on his mental capabilities. But there were drinks to be filled and that task did not require a passing grade from me and my eye exam to be completed successfully. What began as a simple ketchup filling task turned into a rather perplexing event that is still playing with my mind, tickling me with �why�. When you wake up in the morning and slide some spanking new blue jean shorts on, then socks (which I still can�t decide if they were crew or tube) that pressed flushly against his legs that may or may not have seen their first hairs of adolescence - you know it would have to be a good day. To top it off, or to bottom it off as it would be, were a pair of white tennis shoes that looked as if they had just left the hands of a young senorita at the sweat shop disguised as a factory, as she tucked them neatly into their box to await shipment, a sale, and finally this moment in front of the ketchup dispenser. I doubt that these sparkling white shoes were recent purchases though. For I have my suspicions that they were in fact a couple of years old but had remained in pristine condition for a variety of reasons. One being that that I�m sure they had never seen the grass stains of a neighborhood football scrimmage or the scuff marks from the blacktop in a 3rd period P.E. basketball game. Secondly, whether true or not, the image of him locked in his bathroom hunched over the sink scrubbing away at his shoes meticulously with a wet rag and a bottle of white shoe polish kept coming to my mind. Either way, he had to know as he stood in front of the mirror this morning, examining his outfit before his day�s journey began, that his clothing selection would lead him down this path of wide open possibilities. Before I share the uniqueness of the situation though, perhaps it would be helpful to share another side note. While waiting for his and his family�s order to be called, and in the midst of filling paper ketchup cups and refilling his brother�s Cherry Dr. Pepper as it were, he would grab a stack of napkins the size of a small country. This happened three times in a matter of five minutes and in the middle of all the scooting and filling and refilling, a small forest equivalent to the small country of napkins died and went to a better place. In the one hand he of course carried ketchup or a drink, depending on the trip. In the other hand he carried a book. Leaving the only viable place to put his small country of brown folded paper, in his blue jean shorts front right pocket. Obviously this was the ideal spot for his ever growing napkin collection to be stored on his and its journey across the room. The book, a wonderful read I�m sure, carried with it a story of its own that I was hoping to discern as I sipped on my drink and took small bites out of my Otis Spunkmeyer cookie, hoping to conserve it for the duration of my quest. The book, although I couldn�t see the cover, was a science fiction novel from the bookstore I�m sure. Or maybe he bought it on the internet. He looks computer savvy enough. But the size of the book, at least a thousand pages, and the shape and it being paperback led me to this conclusion. That and the fact that the kid looked like the science fiction type with his predominantly white shoes. So I�m sure it was a book full of stars and planets and talking monkeys with guns or better yet . . . light sabers. This genre of literature has never been my cup of tea. I�ve always preferred Hemingway over talking monkeys. Which might be why I�m sitting here doing nothing with my life but writing about a complete stranger while he does something with his life, that being the owner of the largest napkin collection in the southeast. For what purpose he brought the book to the restaurant, I�m still yet unsure of. It certainly was not to read. He was to busy doing things that people with white shoes do. Perhaps it was his badge of honor. Maybe in some eerie way he wanted the pain of listening to his peers point out why he was different, a bookworm at best and a freak at the worst. By feeling the pain, he could wear that on his sleeve as a mark of his suffering. Because everyone desires to identify with the righteous. He was on his own spiritual pilgrimage, one that was both holy and profane, and for him that meant bringing his book into the restaraunt hoping to die a martyr's death. A valiant saint he could have been in another life, equipped with both sword and sensibility. But to give the situation a fair hearing though, he probably just thought he�d get a chance to knock a few pages back. (the end for now. i'll finish the story later. i'm to tired to keep writing and to tired to transfer it to the computer.)

The cool air inside and the warm, humid air outside caused the windows to fog. But I didn't care. I was preoccupied with a tall, dark man. Not in an attraction kind of way for I am one of those boys who likes girls. But this guy had some "flavor" about him. You could just tell he was on top of the world. If I could guess his name, I'd pick The Jamaican Rustic Fancy Man. In nice pants and shirt, he sat down across from me and began to write as even I am writing now. Will he write about me? I've always wanted to be someone's subject, either to study or write about or even read about. Perhaps tonight will be my night in that regard. But his dreaded hair hung down in his face as he wrote on both paper and laptop - which I thought was unique at the very least - while he drank. The jazz played in the background, but it is what I call "Christmas jazz". The kind that sounds like it should only be played during the holidays. And it just seemed out of place. Perhaps like The Jamaican Rustic Fancy Man, out of place but perfectly at home for the moment. Maybe a nice eclectic, folk mix would have suited my fancy better. But my hands were tied and my ears bound to the Christmas jazz that filled the room. Then two girls who I wish wouldn't have come in . . . came in. Wait . . . three girls and their dad. Oh the humanity. There's nothing like small talk with odd people. I'm sure they think the same about me so it all evens out. Then the guy in the corner who I can't decide whether or not he's Mexican or Russian. Maybe Portugese. Regardless he keeps repeating himself over and over again on the phone. As if everyone has waited all night to listen to his thick Mexi-Russy-Porty accent shout redundant phrases. But at least he has a cell phone right? Some people don't even have that. But on the race to the door he tripped his "lady friend" who I think we all perceived to be his mistress. And everyone at least laughed on the inside, if not out loud. And that was what my pen brought me that night. All in all a good night for the sandal wearing lovers in the middle of the room who no one noticed but me and their drinks.

What I'm Reading This Week: Adventures In Missing The Point by Tony Campolo and Brian McLaren, How The Irish Saved Civilization by Thomas Cahill What I'm Listening To This Week: Ryan Adams - Heartbreaker, Pearl Jam - MTV Unplugged, Pete Yorn - Day I Forgot, Radiohead - Hail To The Thief, David Crowder Band, U2 - All That You Can't Leave Behind