welcome to the story.

Just wanted to let everybody know about a really tragic situation so that we could stand together alongside another community who is deeply hurting this morning. Kyle Lake, who is the pastor of UBC Waco (the main �college� church at Baylor university and where David Crowder is the worship leader), passed away yesterday after being electrocuted during a baptism at church. Crazy stuff. He was 33 and leaves behind 3 kids and a wife. He�s written a couple of books put out be Relevant Books on God�s Will and Prayer. You can only imagine how difficult it must have been for their community to watch and see that with their own eyes. Please pray for them that healing and hope will emerge from this upside down time in their lives.

I love my wife. She's superb. But she likes to read books that I wouldn't normally read. She started this new crime/law fiction book. I think it was written by a Christian which should make it that much more of an incredible read. :) But on the inside dust jacket one of the endorsements by another author said, "This book is excellent. It's fiction that reads like fact." I thought the point of fiction was to not sound like fact. I thought the point of fiction was to be just that . . . fiction. To take you away to another place. To create a world and characters that are beyond us. I don't know. Fiction as fact. I guess Lewis and Tolkien and Rowling and all the great fiction writers were going for fact when they wrote their stories.

::sarcasm implied:: theres nothing like a prayer that asks God to meet the needs of the church. God! meet the needs of the church? how about a prayer that says God, will you meet the needs of the poor and oppressed? God will you meet the needs of the widows and single mothers? or how about God meet the financial needs of my family? don't you understand what we think are "needs" would be lavish desires and wants in third world countries? why don't we downgrade our lifestyles and our churches sound equipment and video screens before we start asking God to meet the needs of our church? God meet the needs of those who have nothing. meet the needs of the poor, the oppressed, the downtrodden. those who have nothing. mark 6:8-9 He sent them off with these instructions: Don't think you need a lot of extra equipment for this. You are the equipment. No special appeals for funds. Keep it simple. God sends out his messengers and reminds them how relational the gospel is. it doesn't need a big platform with all the "bells and whistles". its a grassroots movement. with no speical appeal for funds. luke 16:14 When the Pharisees, a money-obsessed bunch, heard him say these things, they rolled their eyes, dismissing him as hopelessly out of touch. a money-obsessed bunch who had the audacity to dismiss Jesus because he was hopelessly out of touch. oh how hard it is to see clearly with planks in our eyes. God meet the needs of our church and our family. how self centered can we be to pray and ask for that when our needs our not really needs. our $40,000 suvs and $300,000 homes. our multi-million dollar churches. one on every corner by the way. those aren't needs. 80% of sub-Saharan Africa living off $2 a day is a need. we're so self-centered. i'm so self-centered. screw my superficial needs. help me. help us. we're in a struggle. our way versus your way. help us see clearer. open our eyes to the reality of it all. give us grace to forgive, patience to wait on change, and hope to believe in something better than what is offered. i'm convinced now more than ever there has to be a better way of doing Christianity. a better way of doing money. a better way of "doing" God. a better way of doing politics. a better way of doing this whole thing. i'm getting small glimpses and every now and then those little peaks into the future kingdom of God take shape and form and give me something to move towards. a better way is here. a higher way is here. its not us versus them. me versus him. her versus her. i just refuse to be satisfied with what is before me. i refuse to swallow the bitter pill anymore. and i refuse to give up. i am moving further up and in one more time. this is my watershed moment #3. and now is the time for change.

reading: gods politics by jim wallis, the gospel of john listening: pilotdrift, fionna apple, david gray, david crowder band, coldplay watching: crash

Ok. So I'm back. It was and is quite what you would imagine marriage to be between an ugly man and a beautiful woman. Great for me. Alright for her. The honeymoon was excellent and has further cemented my desire to live on the beach somewhere in the global south, all while reading, writing, smoking cigars, and dreaming. Hopefully I'll get some pictures up pretty quick. We spent 22 hours yesterday either on a plane or in an airport due to Hurricane Wilma and crappy planes. Those chairs suck in airports! You would think they would get better lobby chairs. They're to small. Half your legs hang off. We watched "Crash". Excellent movie that explores race relations, both subtle and explicit. And I read God's Politics, which is turning out to be a very good read both denouncing the agendas of the left and right, all while exploring what a third option might look like. If you're into politics or are really frustrated with the current political climate, i.e. budget, wars, rhetoric, etc. Then the book is a really nice read that is critical yet hopeful. Really interesting to say the least. Anyway, I've been reading the blogs of a lot of you guys, and I am beyond humbled that you enjoyed and were touched in such a deep way by our wedding day. It brings a slight smile to my face because thats what we wanted it to be about. Not some boring ceremony with trite words and detached tradition, but a wedding that was a celebration of our friendships and our heart for God. So, without having to comment on 10 blogs, thanks for coming, thanks for sharing your lives with us on that day, and thanks for community. The weekend strenghted the idea that I believe in God because of people. Thank you for being a part of our lives. And I'll try to post some more in the next couple of days (after I get caught up on my sleep) about some thoughts that I developed and teased out a bit while sitting on the beach and in an airport.

My groom's cake. I don't like to brag. I really don't. I try to be humble in all things. But this cake is freaking awesome! It's Mr. T! Who has ever had a 3D Mr. T cake at their wedding before?! Who I ask?

A couple of you guys asked me about our vows while we were at the wedding. So I thought I would post them here for now. I'll post Anna's vows to me when she actually gives them to me. But for now, here are my vows to her and then our vows that we wrote to God. And by the way, marriage is really, really good. And I'm wearing a ring and don't really feel like a girl. For the most part. VOWS TO ANNA I never knew what love was until I met you. I never knew what it felt like to see the best in people until I met you. I never truly understood what it meant to have hope and to believe that things were going to be ok in the end until I met you. My love for you will never quit. I won�t give up. I will care for you more than I care for myself. I will value you more than I value myself. I won�t parade around with a swelled head and I won�t force myself on you. I will seek to win your heart every morning. My love for you will not be about me getting my way. I won�t keep score of whose right and whose wrong. I won�t revel in your hurts. I will love the best of you and I will love the worst of you. I will never look backwards or sideways. But I will walk side by side you every day as we move closer to the arms of God. You capture my heart. Now I will capture yours. You inspire my life. You stir up hope within my heart. Now I will inspire you towards that same hope. Your love acts as a cover over me, reminding me of God�s love. Now I will follow in the example of God as I stand beside Him as His chosen man to compliment you and accent you, to help you find your security and significance. You bring out the best in me. Now I will bring out the best in You. I�m so totally and terribly in love with you. And today, before God and man, friends and family, I want to commit myself to you, and in every day that follows. You are the love of my life and I will treasure you forever. VOWS TO GOD - Our chief end in life and in marriage is to glorify and enjoy You forever. - Where beauty is found, we will look to it and realize that it is an expression of Your creativity. - We will live our lives out of mission, where we will meet, transform, and embrace culture. We will not view culture as sacred or secular, but either redeemed or in need of redemption. - We recognize that your story of rescue has been and is unfolding throughout all of history. We will now stand together as one and seek to live as a part of your story as active participants in the plot to restore what was once lost. - As your hands and as your feet, we will promote justice and your kingdom. We will be the voice for those who have no voice. We will be the allies of those who can count no one as friend. We will embrace those at the margins. We will be the anthem for those who need You. - We are painfully aware of how small we are in comparison to how big You are. We acknowledge You as the only One who can sustain and fulfill our lives as individuals. You are the Beginning and the End. You are our All in All. - Ultimately, we believe in hope. That although things are not as they should be, You are the One that is coming to set things right again. Therefore, we will not allow ourselves to be troubled or overwhelmed when things don�t go our way. But we will embrace this coming collision, between our way of living and your way of living, between the way of death and the way of life. We will place our hope on nothing less than You Jesus. Our rock and Our anchor. Our Defender and Our Shield. - You are God alone. Our gaze is fixed on You. Our hearts are centered in You. Our love is rooted in You. We commit our lives to You this day and from this day forward. - In the name of the Father who creates. The Son who rescues. And the Spirit who inspires. Amen.

I'm getting married tomorrow. :)

Excerpted from the emergent southeast site. All conversations evolve, that�s a given. I mean, everything evolves so it stands to reason that a conversation should also evolve. But I think the question is, �what do we evolve too?� If we look at the �natural� evolution of the Christian faith do we see a model of what the evolution of a conversation is, or should be? Let me explain how I see it. Christianity started as a conversation in Bethlehem, moved to a movement in Jerusalem, developed into a philosophy in Greece, became an institution in Rome, organized as a tradition in America, and truly needs to return to the conversation and not to the movement stage. Let�s Talk: When Christianity was a conversation, Jesus was the key spokesperson for that conversation. Others, while having a voice, were not the guiding force of the faith. Others spoke, and even added to the conversation, but all eyes where on Jesus. Then, after Jesus left, the conversation stopped and the movement started. You see, while Jesus was alive, the movement could never happen � once Jesus left, then a movement could be formed. I fear that if we become a movement, we will no longer seek to see Christ as the center of what we talk about � we will turn to the voices of others to guide us. When the conversation turned to a movement, the voice of Christ was filtered thought the voices of others. We no longer look at Jesus as the core teacher, and we started to look to people [like Paul] for our faith walk. We took the words of Christ and filtered them via Paul, as opposed to taking the words of Paul and filtering them through the words of Jesus. But movements do that, they replace the founder of the conversation with others who they see as �just as important� and we are on the verge of such action, and that frightens me greatly. Because one of the next steps is to become a �philosophy� and then an �institution� and I am not at all willing to head in that direction.

Reading: Amusing Ourselves To Death - Neil Postman, The Gospel of John Listening: Sufjan Stevens, David Crowder Band, Coldplay, Johnny Cash, Rosie Thomas, Nick Drake, Pete Yorn, and Red Hot Chili Peppers Viewing: Freaks and Geeks

When we all get to heaven. What a day of rejoicing that will be. You see its not really like that. Its when heaven gets to us. I think N.T. Wright said history is like 2 trains running at full speed at each other. Our world is full on heading towards the future . . . the end. And in the other direction God is full on speeding back towards us, bringing new creation with him. And then there is that fateful collision that I've been settling in on. I really am glad Crowder is smart and intelligent and a creator of good art. Its not cookie cutter Christian music out to make the green. I really think those guys make it for the sake of making it. All good art comes out of that place. The metaphor of a collision that is used is really quite eye opening. And to sit and listen to N.T. Wright talk. And then listen to Crowder's new cd. One song is about hope. And the next about chaos. And hurt and pain. They are in this dramatic tension with each other. Almost as if they are wrestling to see who wins. And then the lark rises up. On top of that, reading through John and seeing the life of Jesus through this new lens, or different perspective, of coming as an agent of new creation. Talking more about the kingdom of God than about heaven. Talking more about the present and grace than the future and judgement. Its hopeful that I can continue to find a faith, a theology, a God worth living for. I have found glimpses. As if the curtain gets pulled back a little for a few seconds. It always fades and I'm left wondering if it was my imagination or wishful thinking. But that small glimpse always leaves me inspired. Maybe its the Spirit who inspires. That memory of only a few seconds where the curtains gets pulled back is always enough to push me further in. Where is it leading? Of course I think that is the wrong question to ask. But I do wonder. And maybe I'm naive. But I think its leading me closer to the point. And maybe I'm naive to think I'll ever get there. And maybe I don't ever want to fully arrive. To have to bear the weight of "getting it" and then having to carry that around as a messenger. But I think I'm getting pushed or pulled or dragged or inspired futher up and further in. I started praying a long time ago. Like 5+ years long ago. That God would open my eyes to the reality of it all. I think maybe that was a good starting place for this journey that I'm on. And now that is my prayer for my friends. Friends for now. Everybody else later. But that God would continue to open our eyes to the reality of it all. That we would all see a snapshot, small glimpses of the point. Why God did, does, and is doing what it is that God does. Beyond Christianity. Beyond religion. Beyond 2005. May we all arrive at that spot of eye opening reality.

My friend Nick put a link on his blog that a friend sent him or something like that, to this article. If you're lazy, the best two thoughts are below. ___________________________________________________________ How about Jesus� Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes? Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God. � And so on. Not exactly planks in a Republican platform. Not exactly Donald Rumsfeld or Dick Cheney stuff. For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes. But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course that�s Moses, not Jesus. I haven�t heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere. �Blessed are the merciful� in a courtroom? �Blessed are the peacemakers� in the Pentagon? Give me a break! ________________________________________________________ But I have to say this in defense of humankind: No matter in what era in history, including the Garden of Eden, everybody just got there. And, except for the Garden of Eden, there were already all these crazy games going on, which could make you act crazy, even if you weren�t crazy to begin with. Some of the games that were already going on when you got here were love and hate, liberalism and conservatism, automobiles and credit cards, golf and girls� basketball. Even crazier than golf, though, is modern American politics, where, thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative. Which one are you in this country? It�s practically a law of life that you have to be one or the other? If you aren�t one or the other, you might as well be a doughnut. If some of you still haven�t decided, I�ll make it easy for you. If you want to take my guns away from me, and you�re all for murdering fetuses, and love it when homosexuals marry each other, and want to give them kitchen appliances at their showers, and you�re for the poor, you�re a liberal. If you are against those perversions and for the rich, you�re a conservative. We�re spreading democracy, are we? Same way European explorers brought Christianity to the Indians, what we now call �Native Americans.� How ungrateful they were! How ungrateful are the people of Baghdad today. What could be simpler?

"I think there is more to Jesus than just coming to set up a way to atone, justify, sanctify. I think he came to show us a higher way of living. Came to show us new creation." I wrote that down last week and meant to include it in my posts on new creation but forgot about it. I'm still planning on coming back and revisiting some of those thoughts later.

I really like Michael Caine.

Ladies and gentleman, due to the constant "comment porn spam" I am getting, I am installnig a new feature today that will make you verify a word before you can comment on the blog. An inconvenience I'm sure, but a necessary step that I must take. Please forgive me. And please comment. I only wish that you didn't have to take an extra 4.5 seconds to do it now. My deepest apologies.

We are storytellers. Not fact givers. We're not selling things and we're not giving out information and expecting information to change. We are artists. We paint pictures of what could and should be. We create and inspire vision. We are singers and dancers. We dance to a different tune and rhythm. We are not used car salesmans or door to door encyclopedia sellers. We are what we are. And fake is what we are not.