welcome to the story.

What I'm Reading: Johnny Cash biography, 1 Samuel, The Gift of the Jews by Thomas Cahill What I'm Listening To: Iron & Wine, Coldplay, Jack Johnson, Mason Jennings, Broken Down Scene, Nick Drake

Excerpt from my Sunday morning talk at Cross Pointe: As we continue our journey of trying to sort through what it means to understand God�s will, we have arrived at the place of realizing that God�s will for our lives is not found in formulas, or equations, or prayers that we rehearse. Ultimately, understanding God�s will for our life supersedes those simplistic ideas, often given to us by good intentioned friends or pastors, but which leave us frustrated, guilty, and confused when the process isn�t as simple as claimed. These formulas oftentimes feel mechanistic, as if we pray a certain way, or follow �four easy steps�, we will be able to force God�s hand, twist God�s arm, put him in a sleeper hold death lock, and force him to give us what we want. But God doesn�t work that way. And even if he did, would we really want a God we could control. Because a God we can control and explain means is a God that�s not much better or bigger than us. But that�s another story for another day. So if God�s will isn�t found in formulas and through Chinese death locks, how is it found? How do we get to the point where our lives are in the vein and heart of what God wants for us? These questions can be partly answered (I�ll continue attempting to provide the rest of the answer over the next couple of weeks) when we begin to rethink what the term �will� means. In many of the New Testament passages when you see the word �will�, it didn�t mean �will� like we think of it today. We think of the word �will� as controlling, forcing, or in a legal sense. But in many of the New Testament passages what the word �will� meant was passion, heart, desire. I think if we redirect our conversation away from viewing God�s will as controlling, forceful, and legalistic and begin to see it through the lens of passion, heart, and desire, we will open our understanding and ourselves up to a much higher plane of relating with God. Where our relationship with God becomes free, creative, hopeful, inspiring, daring, passionate. If we reframe our conversation and move it in that direction I think we will begin to understand what it means to understand God�s heart for our life. But let�s be honest, most of us grew up with a different view of God. Our God was a God that was controlling, demanding, legalistic, impersonal, angry, vengeful. To think of God as a loving Father who is passionate about the quality and direction of our life seems strange if not altogether foreign. Most people think of God as up in the sky playing chess with us, the pieces. If he needs somebody to help take care of starving people in Africa, he makes somebody become a missionary and forces them go to take care of the starving people in Africa. If he needs somebody to lead a church, he makes somebody become a pastor and forces them to go work at a church in the middle of nowhere and make no money for the rest of their lives. Perhaps that�s why so many people are so scared to understand God�s will for their life. They think if they finally begin to understand it, God�s going to make them move to China or Timbuktu and suffer for the rest of their life. But this idea of God as the master chess player and us as his little pawns in his game is such a flawed view of God. I�ll be honest, a God like that is not a God worth following. If all I am is a piece that God arbitrarily forcefully moves around in his game, then that�s not for me. I�d go find some over domineering, controlling wife that pushes me around and dresses me every morning if that�s what I wanted for my life. But I believe that God is not like that. I believe there is no game going on between him and his buddies. I believe that I�m not a piece to a board game. What I do believe is that God is my friend. What I do believe is that God is my loving father. What I do believe is that God has is passionate about me and he�s passionate about the quality and direction of my life. And I believe that God gave me a mind for a reason. And the ability to choose for a reason. And the ability to think for a reason. And the ability to create for a reason. And the ability to dream for a reason. And a God like that is a God worth following. One of my favorite authors, Brian McLaren uses the metaphor of fatherhood that gives us a snapshot into this idea. This scenario I think will provide us some handles on how we might begin to approach God�s will. He writes, I have four kids, including a son in college. Imagine he calls me on the phone and says, �Dad, what is your will for my major in college?� I would say, �Son, I have raised you to this point in your life so that you can make that decision.� �Yes, Dad,� he replies, �but I want to do your will, not my own will. So, please tell me what major to choose.� �Son,� I�ll say, �I�d be glad to help you think this through. For example, we can talk about how much you hate history and calculus, and how much you love writing and business. I think I can help you eliminate some options, but I really want you to decide this. �Dad, don�t you love me? What if I make a mistake? I just want to do your will!� he says. �But Son,� I�ll reply, �it is my will for you to make this decision. Again, I�m glad to talk with you and help you think it through. But my will is for you to grow up, be a man, and make a life for yourself by making decisions, hard decisions, like this one. And believe me, whatever happens, whether you major in business or art or physics, whether it goes well or not, I will be with you. You can count on that, no matter what.� The point is he lives with my guidance, but not my domination, because he�s my son, not my lawn mower. Brian�s response to his son�s question was completely the opposite of how we think God would respond to us when we ask him for advice, council, direction. We think of God as treating us like pawns in a game or his little puppets on a string. Screaming at us, �dance puppets, dance!� And if we mess up, he just cuts us off at the string and goes and finds another puppet to play with. His own personal little toys robots, programmed to his remote control. Do you see how this metaphor of fatherhood is so much more freeing than the metaphors of puppets, pawns, or robots? As we continue our conversation, let�s shift our attention away from a God with a controlling and legalistic will and towards a God with a big heart for the quality and direction of our life. As a side note, if God doens't desire to control us, what makes us think we can control God?

I�ve been reading about the story of David. Not through the lens of facts or Old Testament theology or as some mythical figure who lived as someone detached or above reality. But as a boy, a man, a human, desperately frail, desperately real. A real story, in a real place and a real time in history. I believe this to be much more than a make believe story. I believe it to be a humble narrative of humanness with all its ups and downs and everything that is full of normalcy in between. Although, I believe this to be a true historical story, I am reading it for the first time through the lens of legend, fairy tale, saga, epic. Any of those will do. But they are primarily about something intangible that precise facts or theology can never bring to this story. They give me the eyes to see the story of David as my own. And even bigger than that, a story passed down through the generations to me. Verbal retellings at first. Perhaps around a campfire before a battle. And then later to written paper which mothers would eventually read to their child as bedtime story. It�s story. It�s narrative. It�s emphatically something more than type on a page or words sketched to notebook. It�s ordinary and epic. When I am old and gray and begin to teeter on the edge of my new life, I will not be remembered through the means of fact. But I will be remembered through story. As we all will. Our lives are neither facts nor theology. Our lives are story. Ordinary as they might be. Epic as they might be. The Bible has to be engaged with on that level. To approach it any other way strips it of beauty, of realness. The Bible does not so much offer us a moral code that says �live like this�; nor does it provide a theology that says, �think like this and life will make sense.� The biblical way is to tell a story and invite us, �live into this.� Enter. Engage. Hope. Wrestle. Inspire. Progress. Live. Dream. Create. The story begins with a woman. Hannah is her name. Elkanah is his. And then there is Samuel. In the time of the beginnings, before there were kings or queens in the land of Israel, Samuel served as the leader of this nation/tribe/culture of people. He was their priest and there was no king but God.

What I'm Reading: The Rock That Is Higher: Story as Truth by Madeline L'Engle, Understanding God's Will by Kyle Lake What I'm Listening To: Jack Johnson, The Music, Razorlight, Coldplay, Surfjan Stevens Ideas, Words, Thoughts of Interest: story, the intricatcy of birds flying and in specific birds whose habitat includes saltwater, dark blue and burgundy, the idea of hope, balancing the inherent tension of the present and the future, light browns

Excerpt from my Sunday morning talk at Cross Pointe: God�s will is one of the most misunderstood things there is about God. And the phrase �God�s will� is one of the most abused sayings there is. More people have taken that phrase and distorted it out of proportion than almost any other idea out there about God. As a student leader and as a future pastor, I have seen more people rip that phrase out of context and mishandle it�s meaning. And unfortunately, many of the answers that people like me (pastors, mentors, etc) provide, I think, fall somewhere between misleading and unhelpful to their reality. These answers and formulas that we have provided and given to �figure out� God�s will have led to an unhealthy understanding that has the potential to fill us with guilt, frustration, and restlessness. When asked, �How do I find God�s will for my life?�, the easiest and most often used answer given has something to do with a mechanistic, equation-like, formula that simplifies God�s will into something that it was never intended to be. If what God wants from us is a relationship, and we use mechanistic formulas as a means to relate to God, we�re missing the point. For most of us, if we haven�t already, we have to make decisions about our future on a pretty regular basis. What school do I need to go to? Should I even go to college? Who should I marry? Who should I date? What occupation should I choose? These questions often fill us with pressure and anxiety. Naturally, many of us turn to God as a source of wisdom to lead us as we sort through these questions. But what happens when our prayers to God go unanswered? Or when we look to Scripture to show us the way and we don�t find what we�re looking for? Or we pray for God to open a door and instead of finding an open door where we thought it would be, we instead find a brick wall and we hit it head on? Drawing blanks on these questions can oftentimes fill us with just as much frustration and anxiety as the original questions do. And it can get even more frustrating when we are following the �formula� that a pastor has given or we�ve read in a book. We�re praying. We�re reading our Bible. We�re asking the advice of godly people. But we�re still not getting an answer. It can be extremely frustrating. Especially when you consider something as stupid as math (forgive me math teachers and parents). In math, A+B always equals C. Or 2+2=4. All the time. Unless of course you don�t agree with the original idea of arithmetic (which may or may not have some weight) and you would rather consider math a tool of evil people, which was and perhaps still is a part of my view. But in math, formulas work. You can plug numbers into a formula and you will get an answer. The same is true of a recipe. If you put in the ingredients and in the right amount, you will get a dish that tastes good. You see we understand formulas, equations, recipes, and blueprints. When mixed together, certain variables will yield certain results � an exquisite entr�e, gas for a two-cycle engine, or even a tall building. But it gets harder when deciphering God�s will and more importantly for deciphering God. The very nature of formulas collide head-on with the ways of God because they formulas are about control, predictability, and certainty. If you do certain things, then you will get the result you want. But what happens when you follow the �formula� to figure out God�s will and it doesn�t make sense. Or you don�t figure it out. It can be extremely frustrating. When you pray and pray and you don�t get what you want. Or don�t get an answer. It makes you feel like you did something wrong. Or that you didn�t mix the ingredients right. What complicates it even more is when people praise its simplicity. All you have to do is follow these seven steps and you�ll figure it out. It�s much more complicated than a cut-and-dry two-sentence equation. Think about a book like Prayer of Jabez. I was told if I read this book and prayed this prayer, then God would grant what I asked for and blessed me how I wanted to be blessed. Well what happens when people prayed that prayer and their parents weren�t miraculously healed? Or they prayed the prayer for a new job and they didn�t get the job? You see its not always as easy as a simple formula. Especially for something like God�s will. We have this idea that �God�s will� is some abstract point on a treasure map and if we can ever get our act together long enough, we�ll be able to get to the treasure, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. However. opening up this conversation that we�re going to have over the next few weeks is an idea that I think will help us shift our focus from reaching the �X� on the map and will reframe for us the discussion of �God�s will� beyond a point. The problem is that we so often focus in on the �will� and the �direction� and the �purpose� of finding and reaching that �point� that we forget the very essence of the one behind it all. And there are no shortcuts to that point. Over the next few weeks we�re going to talk about a couple of different elements that I think will open up to us a whole new realm of possibilities and a whole new way of seeing God and his �will� for our lives. Hopefully, we will all begin to see that God�s will is not to be viewed in legal terms, but through the perspective of His heart and passion for us. Where we realize we have been released to a creative, real, free, and full life that is beyond formulas. That is beyond us simply serving as pawns in God�s chess game as puppets on His string.

What I'm Reading: The Rock That Is Higher: Story as Truth by Madeline L'Engle, Understanding God's Will by Kyle Lake What I'm Listening To: The Music, David Crowder Band, The Arcade Fire, The Notwist, The Strokes, and Smashing Pumpkins What I'm Viewing: Seinfeld Season Two