welcome to the story.

An article written for Survey of Theology II in regards to the topic of "regeneration". In my assessment of Scripture, there are two different kingdoms that have had their place in this world. One was the divine kingdom that God originally planned for the world at creation. This kingdom was experienced by man in the garden. In this kingdom or state, there was no need for regeneration, but because of Adam�s sin (Gen. 3:6, Rom. 5:12), man as creation and all of the created order began a downward spiral towards death (Rom. 7:18). God�s kingdom and God�s economy became displaced by the kingdom of the air (Eph. 2:2). Because of this transfer from lightness to darkness, from life to death, from the holy to the profane, there became an overarching need for this divine kingdom to be brought back into a present reality among the created order. Under this need, God set up a framework to restore His fallen creation back to Himself (Col. 1:20). Now . . . we have all been given a natural life from our parents. This life is a part of the fallen kingdom. But in order that we enter the divine kingdom, the kingdom that was originally intended for us at creation before the fall, we have to be �born again�. I love how William Law puts it (and forgive me because I have lost the source material), �When it is said, that we must be born again from above, born of God; for this is expressly telling us what birth we have lost, and is only saying, that the first birth is to be restored, or that the divine birth is to arise, or to be brought again into us, as at the first.� This is the very same idea that Nicodemus first wrestled with before fully embracing this truth in John 3. And being �born again� is the very thought that I am going to attempt to put some handles on in our understanding of the subject. Let�s begin with a look at the Greek word that is rendered �regenerated�. Palingenesia, is composed of palin (�again�) and genesis (�birth�). Therefore, regenerated literally means to be �born again�. While it is a very critical concept for us to understand in our scope of salvation, there are very limited explanations and references within Scripture, even though the entire story of God is about this process of creating new creatures and bringing them under His divine kingdom. The only clear discussion of the subject is made in the New Testament (John 3, Matt. 19:28, Titus 3:5). While there are some allusions to the subject in the Old Testament, only in the New Testament is the subject brought into conversation by the apostles in their writings. In John 3, we see perhaps the clearest picture of regeneration. The apostle John writes that those who have been reborn �were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of the man, but of God� (John 1:13). Those who have been �born again� or �regenerated� have once again been placed back into the Kingdom of God and have begun the journey of sanctification. That is why Jesus told Nicodemus that �unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God� (John 3:3). Essentially, he was telling Nicodemus that you have a natural life that has come from your parents. And with that life comes an earthly will, understanding, heart, mindset, and perspective. But then He explains to Nicodemus, that if you want to have a heavenly perspective, you�re going to have to be �regenerated� into a new creature, a new life. Nicodemus was hit with this truth and as he wrapped his heart around this brand new concept to him, the Holy Spirit of God created a new life in Him (John 1:12-13; 1 John 2:29, Titus 3:5), thus placing him in His heavenly kingdom. So as Nicodemus died to his old life, the Spirit of God gave him new life. Millard Erickson writes, �As a putting to death of the flesh, the new birth involves a counteracting of the effects of sin.�1 The transfer from death to life throws the course of our life on a sudden u-turn. And with that, the old kingdom and the effects of sin no longer have a proper place in our regenerated lives. Our lives, like a hinge, begin to swing open in a new direction because of the regenerated heart, mind, soul, and spirit within us (and unfortunately for some of us, our bodies aren�t quite regenerated yet). So at its essence, regeneration is more than an abstract concept, but a fleshed out reality where our heart, mind, feet, spirit, soul - our holistic self, are �recreated�. Our feet that were once firmly planted in darkness, have now begun to shift to walk �in newness of light�. Our mindset that was firmly entrenched in �my way�, now begins to dissolve into �God�s way�. So we shift from being �dead in our trespasses and sins� to our new disposition and our new nature. This is what Paul so beautifully discusses in Romans 5-8. Regeneration is at the very core of our salvation. It is the beginning piece of the puzzle, the first step in the journey. Not only that, but regeneration begins our restoration spiritually through redemption, (Eph. 1:7), forgiveness (1 John 1:9), justification (Rom. 3:23-26), and reconciliation (Rom. 5:10-11). And as God restores us spiritually, regeneration is once again the on-ramp to our spiritual formation as we begin the process of being sanctified (1 Thes. 5:23), transformed (Rom. 12:2), and finally glorified (Col. 3:4). Hopefully, with these few words, that do a very poor job of conveying such a rich spiritual truth, someone who has no clue about the topic of �regeneration� will be able to join us in connecting with our Heavenly Father as they are �born again�. I attempted to write more in story form, than with �heady� theological discourse, so that the subject would be easily understood by those disconnected from God. So with that, I hope this becomes our prayer. God, please allow us to internalize this truth, that we are regenerated creatures, living in a new kingdom and under a new reign. We are no longer slaves to this old paradigm of thinking, living, and the bondage that it brought. But we are new creations living a new kingdom with You as our authority and centerpiece. Now that You have regenerated us, sanctify us as we enter the path to spiritual formation through your Spirit and our discipline, and through your grace and our faith. 1. Erickson, Millard J. Christian Theology. (Grand Rapids: Baker Books,1998), 957.

What I'm Reading This Week: Like A Rock by Andy Stanley and Hebrews (just got finished reading Through Gates of Splendor by Elisabeth Elliott) What I'm Listening To This Week: David Crowder Band, Hootie and the Blowfish, Matt Redman, Enter the Worship Circle, Gangsta Mix Volume 9

Pull out of me the life that will echo my words, fleshed out truth for You.

At 7:22 last night, God really kick started something that He has been doing in my heart for about the past 6 months. And I'm not sure exactly what it is, but I know the last time I got this feeling, was when I got called to ministry. I think it really started at OneDay at the commissioning service, and its been rolling around in my spirit since then. Like I said, I'm not sure what it is, I just know that He is stirring in me a real desire for mission work. I'm not sure in what capacity and what exactly that entails as it fits alongside my calling to pastor. But thoughts of overseas missions have been coming to me lately. Its really weird too because its all coming at once. It of course started at OneDay and then my friend Katie and I have been talking about "mission" stuff lately. She gave me a book to read about Jim Elliott and his friends who were missionaries in Ecuador. And I've been reading it and its just moved me. It really feels like God is just blowing wind into this passion. I also have a summer mentor out here at church and we were talking yesterday, and he tells me how he did missionary work for a while and how that all came to be. And he did the same thing that Nate Saint (one of the guys in the book that I'm reading) did and I had just got finished reading about it the night before. And he asked me about how I felt called to ministry and I started talking with him about the process that I went through. I described how in the beginning my sole passion was to do student ministry for the rest of my life and how since then God has widened that passion to pastoring and planting a church and then even within the past 6 months, God has widened it even more to include short term overseas missionary work. Last night, for the first time ever, everything seemed like rubbish in comparison to my eternal prize. My car, my relationships, my goals for the future (including my wife and family), my reputation, my ministry, they all last night seemed very trivial in the grand scheme of things. So we'll see. I'm not sure where God is leading me, but I know He's doing something in my life that I haven't felt in a long, long time. So I'm waiting patiently for clarity to come. "God, thank you so much for the refreshment that is found in You. When You work in my heart, it gives me hope and lets me know that You're not done with me yet. I don't know what You're calling me to do. I don't know the details. I can't even put my finger on the rough details because I don't even know those. I just know that You're stirring in me something big. Give me the patience not to jump the gun. Give me the wisdom to see clearly and listen carefully to your voice. Don't let me read my desires and dreams and visions into what You're speaking. Sharpen my focus. Narrow the road that I'm traveling and help me zone out the peripherals. Give me the power to put my feet behind the words that I sing. My life behind my worship. I'm sorry for letting my words be empty and shallow, void of the very things that they mean. Hear my heart and don't give up on me. Help me sort and process Your voice. As ignorant and with as many impure motives that I have, I still want to do what You would have for me. May I live to that end."

I'm falling forward Falling more and more towards You.

I've been so blown away these past two weeks. I really went hard after God at OneDay and begged Him to release me from some of my idols and bondage that I had been clinging to for so long. And lo and behold, He frees me up and opens my eyes to the futility of clinging to a dead paradigm, for that is what my old life is. I've had the most refreshing two or three weeks that I've had in a long time. Without all of my idols blurring my vision and the bondage weighing me down, I've been able to think and act clearly. And God, for some reason, and I don't know why since I had been so warped in my actions lately, has just continued to bless me. I know it sounds cliche, but He's given me so much perspective which is what I begged for heading into OneDay and while I was there. Coming out of the past couple of months, where I felt like I had so little to be happy about, I've entered into a season where I realize that I do have tons to be thankful for. I have good health (besides my clogged arteries from bacon), a great car, a nice apartment, P-I-M-P clothes, Louis Armstrong cds, insightful books, the best friends, a rock-solid body, a supporting family, a superb job, and a huge loving God who keeps giving and realligning my perspective. I don't know how I could not ever be thankful for that, but somehow I slipped into a funk that I created and stayed in, so as to dull my senses. Thus becoming a vicious cycle. But its very freeing to be enfolded by such a gracious God. To walk into such open fields where the visibility is near perfect. And on top of all of that, I'm getting to reknow an old friend who is beyond what I ever expected. Nothing but smiles on my face and thanks in my heart for being given so much when I deserve so little.

Half of the following are lyrics to Kite, a U2 song, and the other half are me. Its a mix and matcher from me to me. Something is about to happen I can feel it coming And I think I know what it means I'm not afraid to die nor afraid to live Fearing only another let down But if I'm flat on my back I hope to feel like I do And the hardness it sets in And I need someone to soften my skin I need someone and no one Who's to say where the wind will take me When and where this feeling breaks me I don't know, which way the wind will blow It's summer and I can taste the salty sea There's a kite blowing out of control on the breeze I wonder what's gonna happen to me I'm a man and I'm not a child A man who sees and believes That the walls are dropping As this kite takes me out to sea

What I'm Reading This Week: Philippians What I'm Listening To This Week: Pete Yorn, Steadman, Matt Redman, Enter the Worship Circle, Third Eye Blind, David Crowder Band

More OneDay jazz. 5.26.03 9:12 am Today we will ascend and descend We will climb into the heights And plunge ourselves in the depths As we strive upwards toward heaven We will fall downwards to find ourselves With shouts at times And tears at others With joy and love directed towards Him Sorrow and repentance for our sins We will strain for a divine moment We will sit silently in reflection Full of life and full of death As our flesh tears away from the Truth inside Today we become one in our journey One with the beauty and the pain 5.26.03 9:31 am Take my sins that have become dead bones and raise up a new body and new life out of the decay. But let me always be reminded of how quickly life can turn to scarred death. 5.26.03 10:26 am Listening to the nations read the Word. Korean, French, Spanish, English, German. The languages flood the field. Consecrating it . . . us. The glory of diversity and unity as one. 5.26.03 11:15 am Set our hearts on a pilgrimage towards you. On a journey into your depths. 5.26.03 11:55 am Even now Even now With all of our hearts Let us return to the Lord 5.26.03 12:15 pm I am loved I am loved I am loved 5.26.03 4:23 pm You are everything that is anything, I am everything but anything. ________________________ How may I bless Your heart? ________ Here I am All of me Take my life All for Thee 5.26.03 11:00 pm Tonight I sit under the same stars. But in a different state, physically and spiritually. And the only thing I can think about is how perfect this moment is with my Creator. What a difference a week makes. Everything fades away and nothing is left but God and me, enjoying each other. And that shifts everything into the right perspective. 5.27.03 12:57 am Everything under Him We sit under Him Noise under Him Stillness under Him Dancing under Him Solitude under Him Chaos under Him Calmness under Him Life, shadows, reflections, treasures All under Him Love, warmth, awe, refreshment All find their place under Him Our hearts spiral upwards as high as they can But they're still under Him Big dreams and big visions Are yet under Him The overarching presence that hangs in the sky Spreading out wide over us Stretching East and West North and South And we all are under Him Small, bits, hilarious ants Finding our place under Him

It's really nice when you get surprised by someone who you really didn't expect to surprise you. When you've always thought of a person in this one way, and it turns out that they are something totally different. Here's to a pleasant surprise in all its randomness.

Trapped somewhere between habit and convenience is where my affections fall.

lately, there has just been this constant battle within me between the sacred and the corrupt, between my flesh and my spirit. somedays, i feel like the distance between me and God because of my corruption is as far as it is from me to the moon and other times I feel like He's as close as my skin. one day, i feel the most intimate connection, and others i feel as if my sin has severed the connection between myself and God where it feels as if my life is hanging on the edge of a blade. but even in these times where i feel this huge disconnected gap, i have this longing and burning to be kissed and touched by the very hand of God. and its so hard for me to find the words to express to God exactly what I want to say. what i want to ask forgiveness for. to tell him my longings and desires and frustrations and hopes. i know i'm not making sense and i probably sound like a nut job. but i just feel like i've had this "monkey on my back" that at times crushes my spirit and others raises it up victorious through Christ. does that make sense. the last two days have just been a really fresh realization that His hand is always there waiting to satisfy my longing and thirst. the problem is not on His end, but on my end. the problem comes in when i don't internalize the truths of redemption and freedom that are found through the cross. so the last 2 days i've kind of gotten hit with the freshness of those truths.

Obsession by Delirious What can I do with my obsession With the things I cannot see Is there madness in my being Is it the wind that moves the trees Sometimes You're further than the moon Sometimes You're closer than my skin And You surround me like a winter fog You've come and burned me with a kiss And my heart burns for You