welcome to the story.

I just got asked, "Why don't you smile anymore Josh?"

Meditations on Job 30:16-19 My scars torment me Day and night they still bleed Always coming, And never relenting I fight back and am triumphant Only to fall back into my own pit Full of my own vomit I thrash around begging for air Craving to be set free But I open the wrong hand And so now my life drains out As callousness seizes and grips me hard Memories gnaw at my bones The misery never lets up I am tied hand and foot My neck in a noose that I've created In my sin, I twist and turn Thrown facedown in the muck I'm a muddy mess, inside and out Black and blue I fade into my burning And there . . . I choke on my own depravity.

What I'm Reading This Week: Job What I'm Listening To This Week: Bob Marley, Radiohead - Kid A, Dispatch, Sublime, IZ, Sister Hazel

Below is one of the best and most profound emails I've ever received. My friend Sharon sent it to me and she is right on target. Some would say only a genius could write it. On a related note, my friend T.J. was telling me about something this guy wrote. He said that 99% of the world's population is made up of followers, sheep. They are so numb to everything that they simply do whatever they are told, buy whatever they are told, listen to whatever they are told, dress in whatever way they are told. The only thing that is keeping the world's population from completely caving in to a state of idiotecy (its a word I just made up) is the fact there is still a remant of dreamers, leaders, visionaries. These people keep the world afloat. I hope that I'm found to be one of these dreamers. Here's Sharon's email: Dear Josh, It's amazing to me how the advertising world views the average consumer as completely ignorant. I decided that I needed to eat a little healthier in the morning, so I bought some "Special K" with strawberries, because I love strawberries and even though they're completely fake, it's better than healthy cereal with strawberries . . .do you agree? Anyway, on the box of cereal it says "LOSE UP TO SIX POUNDS IN TWO WEEKS!!!", then it goes on to provide you with a plan to lose this weight: eat a bowl of cereal for 2 meals and have one regular meal for two weeks. . .HELLO!! PEOPLE! SERIOUSLY! Of course if anyone were to only eat cereal for two weeks straight you're going to lose 6 lbs. Same if you eat candy bars for breakfast and lunch or chips or frosting, or anything. It's ridiculous Josh. People have stopped thinking for themselves. I just imagine a mass of middle aged women, dissatisfied with their bodies, living on cereal with fake strawberries, stripping themselves of nutrition. I'm saddened, because this lack of thinking and manipulation goes way beyond cereal. And you can't blame them; it's not their fault. I mean, why think when there are plenty of people telling you what to want? Madison Avenue knows exactly how to derange the heart, and that's what they do. First they get your eye and attention, and once they have that, they aim straight for the heart. Advertising penetrates a person's beliefs and values to the point that one is convinced that the product being sold is all they need to fill the void in their heart. This fact amazes me as well, that during the depression, the first businesses that went under were those who cut their funds for advertising. And the reason I'm so worked up about it all, is because I'm positive I've fallen into the trap myself. I can look around my room and I probably don't need half of the items in my closet, my art, candles, extra shoes, games, beads, movies, lotions, etc. What is it all for? I mean, I think I'm ok, because I feel my heart knows that these things are irrelevant. In addition, I thank God for giving me that perspective and opening my eyes to that truth. Still, the whole situation saddens me. The images that we worship, how we fabricate ourselves to the degree that the average American admits to being uncomfortable being alone. Because in our complete solitude we're confronted with our true self and how we've become an image we worship. On a more positive note, I find the Spanish guitar to be one of the most beautiful sounds. Along with the voices of Gavin Rosdale and Alison Krauss, babies laughter, waves crashing, birds in the morning complimented by the sun streaming through a window or violins. Someday, I just want to sit around a courtyard in Italy at night, eating bread, and dancing while men in the background play their mandolins and enjoy life. You know what else is on my mind josh brown? Risk, and how my faith is lacking it. In theatre your'e taught that risks make or break a scene. And in the little experience I've had, it's so true. People are moved by seeing others put their bodies, status and humiliation on the line. In addition, when I think of Jesus, I see so much risk in his love. So how am I portraying Jesus love with so little risk? It's so much more than mere courtesy or handing a stranger a couple bucks on the street. And I think risk and passion go together. Why would you risk yourself over something you are unpassionate about? It just makes me think about my witness and question if my whole heart is consumed by this awesome love and am I sharing it with others to the full extent I'm capable of? I don't know, I'm bad with expressing my feelings and thoughts. And you're the biblical scholar, so what are your thoughts? And this has all sprung from something I read recently (I forget which book) anyway Jesus asking "I gave you love, did you share it with others?" And yet as all these issues are sorting themselves out in my heart, I feel a peace. I think you know the feeling.

What I'm Reading This Week: Job What I'm Listening To This Week: The Wallflowers - Red Letter Days, Evanescence - Fallen, Ben Harper - Welcome to the Cruel World, Chris Issak, Radiohead - Kid A, Jars of Clay - Furthermore

" . . . Pilate told Joseph he could have the body. 46Joseph bought a long sheet of linen cloth, and taking Jesus' body down from the cross, he wrapped it in the cloth and laid it in a tomb . . ." Mark 15:45-46 What a priviledge. To gently take His body off the cross. To carry in my arms the body of my wounded King. To carefully wrap His body in the cloth. To delicately lay Him down in the tomb. What a priviledge and honor. That had to have been one of the most sensitive, sweetest moments in the history of the world. When I feel I'm slipping further away, I remember that everyday I get a little bit closer to you. - The Wallflowers

An excerpt from an article from the print version of Relevant Magazine. One of the greatest hindrances to the growth and maturity of the average believer has been the creation and marketing of an alternative to popular culture that has identified itself as being Christian. This alternative has become so widespread and successful that we now can accurately call it a subculture. It's ironic and in some ways tragic that the thing we thought would help us has hurt us so much. The tragedy is that many people will not notice the danger of a Christian subculture because of the helpfulness of much of which has been created, and because of the goodness of the intent. Christian music helps us worship. Christian radio connects us with other believers and gives us reminders that help us think about God all day long. Christian fiction entertains us with values that are noble. Christian bookstores are cities of refuge in a hostile world where one can find like-minded believers and numerous helps for faith and practical living. Then there are the jobs the Christian subculture has provided for believers who sincerely want to make a lasting difference in the world, and the platforms it has erected for those, including myself, who might not otherwise have an audience. Because of this, I honestly struggle to make any critical statements about the Christian subculture because I am aware of the fact that Christian products and services have helped many believers, and many others have been introduced to Christ through it. There is also the knowledge that the infrastructure of Christian popular media, products and services is not going to go away any time soon, regardless of what I or anyone else says or thinks. In fact, the sales and marketing of Christian products are increasing-it is one of the few industries actually growing in these difficult economic times. Having said all this, however, I must still point out that the Christian subculture can be dangerous to faith. That danger comes in the form of what C.S. Lewis has referred to as the good being the enemy of the best. The Christian subculture can be shown to be good and valuable, but is it the best? Is it possibly hindering something better? To the extent that it does, it is the enemy of the best. In his article, "Getting Out of the Christian Ghetto" in this issue, Dan Buck observes that much of the Christian subculture is merely "adding spiritual language into things that are actually spiritual because they are part of the human experience God has created," the operative words being "actually spiritual." The reason the spiritual language of the subculture is so dangerous is that if we think it is the language, or some other mystical/spiritual connection or blessing inherent in a Christian thing, that has made it spiritual, then we lose our drive and need to find God outside the confines of what qualifies for the Christian label. We start to trust the labels and not flex our own spiritual muscle. We are not training ourselves to find God wherever we look-whatever we are doing. In fact, we are actually training people to distrust everything that does not carry the label. We are no longer looking for God; we are counting on someone else to provide Him for us in terms relevant to our culture. It is similar to kosher food needing the sanction of the rabbi when the food that was given by God was good already. The tragedy is that there was something Christian about aerobics before it became Christian aerobics; there was something Christian about music before it became Christian music; there was something Christian about people connecting on the radio and in stores before we had Christian radio and Christian bookstores. But now that we have "Christian" so clearly defined, it makes it harder to find God anywhere else. We assume the language makes it Christian and stop using our spiritual insights to find God and his truth in other ways. All this Christian stuff really is good. But what would be even better would be Christians who can worship God while watching anything, when walking into any store, while reading any book, and pursuing any vocation. The best would be to not have more great Christian things but more people who are great Christians without needing Christian things to define them or help them along. So what do we do? Well my suggestion, because the Christian subculture is not going to go away anytime soon, and because there are good things about it that can be affirmed, is that we simply start doing the better thing and consciously look for God outside of those things that are labeled Christian. I am saying that we need both the good and the best. The good only becomes the enemy of the best when it becomes a substitute for it. The Christian subculture is not all that is Christian about the world. I'm very aware of how careful I need to be here. In fact, I met the people at RELEVANT magazine at the Christian Booksellers Association convention this summer in Anaheim. I wouldn't be writing this column now had we never made that connection and it is one aspect of what we commonly call the Christian subculture that provided that opportunity. The important thing is not to stop there. I think the matter, at least for now, is to recognize the good and keep pursuing the best. My encouragement would be to take the good and make it useful towards the best-the best being the ongoing growth of those who are looking for God all the time and finding Him, with or without the labels or the help of a Christian subculture.

I have absolutely no idea why it's taken me so long to come around to listening to Radiohead. Growing up when I only listened to what the radio told me to listen to, I thought Radiohead was weird. So I guess since that time, I've just carried this odd image of them in my head. But I've been listening to Kid A and Amnesiac all week. And I think that Idioteque from Kid A may single handedly be the best song I've heard in at least a year. And that's saying alot because I could throw a lot of songs up there on that list. You know what . . . I'm going to make a list. Best Songs I've Heard In The Past Year: Idioteque - Radiohead New York - Ryan Adams BubblyToes - Jack Johnson Widow Of A Living Man - Ben Harper Mykel and Carli - Weezer (I know its old, but I heard it for the first time not to long ago) In My Place - Coldplay I Need Words - David Crowder Band Anyone Else But You - The Moldy Peaches The Pez Song - Josh Brown (I'm biased though) Somewhere Over The Rainbow - Iz Game Over - Ozma Forever Young - Alphaville (from the new Saturn commercial)

What I'm Reading This Week: Job, The Younger Evangelicals by Robert Webber What I'm Listening To This Week: Alison Krauss and Union Station - New Favorite, Weezer - Blue, Dispatch Mix, Jack Johnson - Brushfire Fairy Tales, Norah Jones

I was hit again with yet another reason to quit school and do something more productive with my life. On Sunday after morning worship, I go to Starbucks and read and catch up on my school reading and occasionally do some writing. Then I head off to my small group of 11th grade guys. It just happened to be a beautiful day yesterday so I got my caramel apple cider with no whip, extra cinnamon and I was sitting outside at my table with its nice little umbrella. It was just a beautiful day. The temperature was in the mid 50s and it was blue sky sunny with a steady breeze in the air. Perfect. Whenever the weather is perfect like that, my spirit is always a little more sensitive and receptive and a little more emotional I guess. Girls get emotional when they watch a sad movie, I get emotional when the weather is good. What can I say? So I was in a great mood and was very sensitive to the "big picture". This is coming after an all day (all day meaning 8:30-5:00, but its only once a month) Saturday class on Biblical Research Methods. I'm sure there is alot that I could have learned from that class on Saturday. But after I listened to a sermon on Jeremiah for 2 hours and another hour of a lecture on how to manage my time, I left. I was tired of class. The sermon on Jeremiah was good I guess and the time management lecture was good I guess but somehow it fell short of my expectations of what a seminary level class should be. For some reason, and I have no idea why, almost every professor that I've ever had there, thinks it their duty to preach the sermon that they preached the previous Sunday morning in class. So my classes aren't spent discussing the relevant issues that are facing are churches today or any other practical matter, but are instead spent taking notes from my professor's 5 point, outline form sermon that I have to regurgetate for a test. Needless to say, I didn't think seminary was supposed to about that. I couldn't take it anymore so I skipped the last 4 hours of class and went home and studied on my own and suprisingly learned something. And it wasn't a simplisitc, redunctionist outline of Jeremiah's life. So I was already a little frustrated with school. Then Sunday. Reenter me sitting outside at Starbucks. With the beautiful weather mind you. And I'm reading my lovely book on Eschatology . . . . for . . . . school. And lo and behold, I'm surround by people. Actual people. Imagine that. And these people, surprisingly, I don't think care about the pretribulational, amillennial, or dispensationalist views that I was reading about. No, these people definitely did not care about that. Sitting directly in front of me were 2 middle aged gentlemen. They were having a conversation about life. It looked like they were having a great conversation. The only thing was that they were using the F-Bomb every other sentence. It was motherf&%$ this and motherf&%$ that. Now to my immediate left, there was a group of 4 high school students. Probably 9th grade. 3 guys and 1 girl. And these students had just got done watching a movie at the theater next door to Starbucks. The 3 guys spent the next 30 minutes making references to sex, masturbation, and other sexual comments in front of this 14 year old girl. To my right, sat a young lady who worked at Starbucks and a guy who worked at Starbucks. They were on there smoking break. The guy was obviously not a heterosexual. To say he was a flamer would be an understatement. He was full fledged. And the girl that He was sharing His break was giving Him advice on what to do about his non-heterosexual boyfriend. The guy was having a big fight with his boyfriend from what I could hear. Right next to them, kind of off-centered behind me, were two guys who were foreign. Probably Indian. These guys spoke English. And I'm taking a guess, and I could be wrong, but I bet they did not have any spiritual influences in their lives or in their Indian community for that matter. But here I was. Mr. Suburban/White/Middle-Class/American Seminary student. Out of touch with reality. Out of touch with the gospel. Spending all of my time hanging out with Christians at work and at school. Memorizing all the different eschatalogical views of the end times and replaying the 5 point sermon of Jeremiah's life in my head. Within a 15 foot radius, there were 10 people who were disconnected from God. Now I could have just walked over to each and every one of them and gave them a nice little tidy presentation of the gospel. I could have even used a tract. Maybe that would have changed their lives. But I knew that as soon as I got finished sharing with them, it would be time for me to head off to church, then back home to study for my morning class in seminary. And I would never have another relational engagement with them. And they probably wouldn't have another Christian engage them in a lasting relationship for a while. So what they needed was a relationship with God that I could have offered them through a friendship with me, but I'm too busy. I've got 35 hours of work at a church making copies. And I've got 15 hours a week at school learning about eschatology. Its a shame that I'm so disconnected from the gospel. A crying shame.

This is from my online class. Its a different topic than what we were discussing last time and so far, no one has said anything idiotic. The question was posted by the professor, "What is the significance of the connection between believers' faith in Christ Jesus and their love for their fellow believers or saints?", and the dialogue is as follows. Me: I have a question that I'd like to bounce off you guys pertaining to this topic. We all know that almost every believer in the world holds to a little different view of theology or doctrine. Becaues of this, there are going to be some obvious "differences" in theological and doctrinal thinking. In the midst of these differences, how can we maintain unity in love and Spirit even when we do not have unity in doctrines? I ask this because in my brief experiences with others "different" than me, I find myself becoming critical and not maintaining UNITY OF LOVE AND SPIRIT because of the disUNITY in theology different than my own. Does that make sense? How do we as believers begin to have a Unity of Love and maintain Unity in the Spirit when sometimes we are not Unified in doctrine? Mr. Herndon writes: I think I understand what you are saying, I too find myself getting offensive towards others who may hold some different doctrinal views. Of coarse more than not though I am trying to listen to what they have to say, because I am unsure at times where I stand. Dr. Davis in class the other day was talking about a young guy about my age who told him "Doc. I disagree with some of what Charles Ryrie's believes," and in turn Dr. Davis told the young gentleman "You don't know enough to disagree with Ryrie!" Now, I do not believe that being young I can't have an opinion, I just try to remember to be humble. This is where I am having problems lately, I have read a lot about evolution and the different theory's held by well meaning theologians, who try and conform the Bible to fit science, and inside it really upsets me, and I can go off on a tangent and preach forever on why they are wrong, and usually do not stop to listen to what they have to say. That's all I am going to say about that particular issue, because that is not my purpose of this response. What I want people to gain from that little aside is that I think we all have tendencies to have disdain for fellow believers who do not fall in line with our doctrinal beliefs. Before I get to much deeper in let me say that there are some doctrines (teachings) that leave no room for disagreement, for example, there is One God, and Jesus is the Son of God, and the Holy Spirit is are guide and comforter and they together are one essence, existing in three persons, then there is one I think we forget, and that is the greatest command which is to Love the Lord our God and second to love are neighbor as yourself. As it says in 1 John 4:8, if one does not love they do not know God, who is love, or in 2:9, the Bible tells us we cannot claim to be in the light if we harbor hatred for our brother, even in our hearts. The Pharisee's were very legalistic, they "knew" all their doctrines, but Jesus came and let us know that real sin begins in our thoughts and hearts, this well before they ever reach actions. So to not love others begins in our minds and hearts. The Bible also tells us that having love for others is a sign that God dwells in us. So I said all of this to answer the question how do we maintain the unity of love when we have differences? I can't answer that really for you, except to say that we make the choice to love or not to love. Some people we instantly click with and loving them is easy, but these are not the people we need to work at loving. Jesus' dying for us was the ultimate act of love, yet it did not come easy for Him or without pain or despair (a good image here for me is that Jesus prayed for this cup to be removed from Him, and was overcome with such stress that he sweat blood or has sweat like blood, depending on who you talk too :) So sometimes we may have to work at love, and we should approach every situation and every person with humility and to be ready to show them love. This is not an accepting of all ideas, boy could that get us in trouble, nor do I mean to say we cannot disagree, I only mean to say that we can share opinions and disagree, in and with love. And I believe that being able to love someone who we disagree with is a sure sign that we are baring fruit of the Holy Spirit. So to me it is not so much of how, but why we should have UNITY OF LOVE AND SPIRIT! I guess you could even say it is commanded of us. We do not have to be unified in doctrine to share and fellowship with each other and infact I think an illustration can be drawn from Luke 22:24 when the dispute arose among the disciples of who was the greatest, I believe a good application here is we are the disciples arguing and bickering, and notice that Jesus tells them they should not be arguing over who is greatest. To be the greatest is to be humble and to serve, as Jesus was humble and served. Furthermore when we do argue whether about a doctrine or some other issue we should not let the sun go down on that argument (Eph. 4:25-27.) We are called to model are lives after Christ and live as He lived. We will never accomplish His amount of perfection and love, but that does not mean we do not still try. So I might have just chased rabbits here, but hopefully I gave something useful to you and all who read this, if you are having problems with maintaining UNITY OF LOVE, but just because our doctrines are different does not mean we cannot love or are allowed, or excused from love. I think too our ability to love others correlates with how well we walk with Christ. Also if we cannot be friends with and love those who are "different" than us, or people who have different opinions form us, could we even have any friends or relationships at all? Who is just like me? Or who is just like you in every aspect? God requires of us to have UNITY OF LOVE, and he will not put more on us than we can handle. We must just remember to have temperance (which is a fruit of the spirit)when dealing with others who may not have the same views as you or me. Me: I agree with you that there are some core teachings that there has to be unity of doctrine on. These "beliefs" are absolutely essential to providing us with the framework for understanding God. As much as I hate to use cheesy illustrations, I think of it like this. I think there are some fundamental and core doctrines that set up a framework or a border to the puzzle. This "pieces" of the puzzle are the boarder. There are alot of these pieces in my opinion. In my opinion, God as triune, grace through faith, an incarnational Christ, dual natures of Christ, and the sufficency of the cross, among others. These core "pieces" make up the border of the puzzle for understanding God. To me these pieces are black and white and pretty concrete. But there are some grey areas, some middle pieces of the puzzle that aren't so definite. The topics of election, free will, how the gospel is contextualized, styles of worship, and some issues like this are not so clear cut. I understand what you were saying Mr. Herndon, and that makes perfect sense, I just think sadly that doesn't happen. When "respected" leaders within the Baptist church fight over grey issues, it makes me wonder what unifies us? The spirit of love or "right" doctrines? Example, Adrian Rogers won't let Al Moehler preach at his church because Moehler is a Calvinist and Rogers is free will. What unifies them, love or doctrine? And when "unrespected" leaders in the emerging church fight over grey issues, it also makes me wonder what unifies us? The spirit of love or "right" doctrines and practice? Example, when I personally become bitter towards someone who doesn't adapt and change their methods of communicating the gospel to a new context like "I do it". What unifies me and someone else, love or doctrine/practice? Does that make sense? So to go back to the original post by Dr. Vines, how does my faith in God relate to my love for others? Is my faith in a God big enough to supercede these grey issues in the middle of the puzzle, so that I can genuinely love those who disagree with me? Realizing that they might be right and I might be wrong in these grey areas. How do we keep from having an all inclusive, relative attitude towards every new "doctrinal grey area"? I don't know. I guess alot of this is just my way of talking out some of the frustrations I've been experiencing. I just thought it was pertinent to the original post by Dr. Vines. It's kind of a rabbit trail though. Harold Nwadeyi writes: My name is Harold, I have read you�re question. It is true that we do feel so how when someone do not agree with us in our theology or doctrine. I have few things to say about that; theology is the study of the WORD OF GOD not the WORD OF GOD ITSELF. When different people study, they will gain different insight and different understanding about their study. Now their insight and understanding, is not what should unite us in the unity of love and spirit rather the WORD OF GOD ITSELF should unite us in the unity of love and spirit. As long as we have the same true GOD and HIS SON in our heart, and believe in his teaching, that says to love one another in spirit and in truth. Josh the bottom line is that we all have the same assurance, that JESUS CHRIST is our LORD and SAVIOR. People will have different interpretation and understanding and all we can do is to pray and ask GOD to bring all of us to HIS understanding of the scripture. Me: To quote: "People will have different interpretations and understanding and all we can do is to pray and ask GOD to bring all of us to HIS understanding of the scripture." What happens then when 4 people study the same passage and come out with 4 different "doctrinal beliefs"? When I ask God to illuminate my study and my reading, and you do the same exact thing, and another one of our friends does the same thing, how then do we arrive at different conclusions? And when we arrive at these different conclusions, how do we maintain a spirit of love and unity? I agree that it is not the word (the Bible) that unifies us in love, but the Word (the incarnational Christ) that unifies us in love. But for example we could both study the passages in 1 Corinthians regarding spiritual gifts, and we could both come to different conclusions about the role of certain spiritual gifts in the church age. This is obviously seen by 2 different groups who have interpreted this Scripture differently, Baptists and Pentecostals. Well if it is true what you said, that Christ unifies us in love, and not doctrine, then how come we are not unified with our Pentecostal brothers and sisters? Or with our Presbyterian brothers and sisters? Or our Episcopalian brothers and sisters? Or even our own brothers and sisters as Southern Baptists? Do you see what I'm getting at? There are so many divisions that are based on differences in interpretation. These divisions are obviously caused by DISUNITY IN DOCTRINE. How then do we maintain a spirit of love and unity with others in the midst of these differences? What everyone says sounds good, but I've very rarely seen what you're saying fleshed out in action. If what you said was practiced, then we wouldn't have so many divisions. We would be unified in Spirit and in love with our brothers and sisters across denominational and cultural lines. Eli Sanders writes: because Baptists will ride "first class" in the rapture and the rest of us will ride "coach".... in this worldview, the Baptist hermeneutical persuasion is the most accurate. LOL William Herndon writes: It would be nice if there were not so many divisons in the church, but I do not think the actions of others should stop us from loving and attempting to have unity. If everyone you meet is negative and unwilling to love you because of your doctrinal difference that still should not stop us from loving them and being there friends and being in Unity with them. To sum up what Harold said, and the words of some song I heard, "If you love Chirst, you belong with me (as brothers/Sisters). WWJD, is a popular saying, but your right "how often do we see that fleshed out" unfortunetly it is rarely fleshed out, yet even still we should try to love other and be unified with others wheter or not they want to love us or not. Me: I agree wholeheartedly with you Mr. Herndon. Actions or beliefs of others should never keep us from loving them. To quote you: "Yet even still we should try to love others and be unified with others whether or not they want to love us or not." I agree with what you're saying, but I'm not so much talking about others not wanting to love us so much as I am talking about "us" not wanting to love them. I'm just going to be brutally honest and ask everybody in this forum a question, "How many non-Southern Baptist friends do you have? How many times have you partnerred with another denomination for ministry? How many times have you picked up a book that wasn't written by someone that was Southern Baptitst? How many close friends do you have, that you go to for advice, that you share meals with, that you encourage, who are not Southern Baptist? Better yet, can anyone remember the last time they prayed with someone from another denomination?" And once a year doesn't count for any of those questions. And I'm asking these same questions of myself. Do you see what I'm getting at? We say its love that unifies us, but in all reality its usually doctrine that unifies us. Thats inverted from what Scripture teaches us. If our faith is in a huge God, then we are going to love those and be unified in Spirit with those who hold to different doctrinal views. Realizing that as much as we think that other denonimations doctrinal beliefs are borderline apostasy, they probably think the same about us. But if our faith is in a small God, who only thinks and acts like WE DO, then we are not going to love those and be unified in Spirit with those who hold to different doctrinal views.

What I'm Listening To This Week: Mason Jennings, Weezer, Ben Harper, Jack Johnson, OAR, Louis Armstrong What I'm Reading This Week: The Younger Evangelicals by Robert Webber, Exodus, and Paradise to Prison (a Genesis commentary for my Genesis class) by John Davis

so heres the deal on bush. around here, it depends on who you talk to. its probably more pro bush and pro war. but its probably equal. the people who like bush, are for the most part idiots because they're rednecks and the only reason they like him is because there might be some blood involved and bush used to squirrel hunt like them. they don't support bush or the war for the right reasons, so therefore in my opinion, they're idiots. the people who don't like bush and the war are also idiots. this is because they are so naive and brainwashed by the liberal media and cnn. they swear that we want a war so we can hoarde all of this oil like a sugar fiend hoardes pixie sticks. so they're idiots. there are very few people down here in the south who are well read enough and articulated enough to have a decent conversation about the heart of bush's agenda and the war in general. personally, i love bush. i think he's a great guy and a great president. but then again, i'm sure i'm prejudiced to a certain degree which would make me an idiot by my own definition. but as long as bush keeps praying and stuttering and using made up words like "strategory" (whatever the heck that means), i'll keep supporting the guy, because i think he is leading us with our heads held high through some crazy stuff. which is more than any of the right wing redneck hunters could do and its more than what the pornographic laced bill clinton worshippers could do.

Back from skiing. It was awesome. It was so beautiful. It was a thousand times better than the suburban jungle I've lived in all of my life. When I'm in a place like that, I just feel like a part of me connects with who I am. I know that probably doesn't make sense. But I just feel like thats what I'm supposed to be doing. Being out there. Whether its at the beach or in the mountains, I'm supposed to be outdoors living. Not trapped inside some office making copies or working behind some counter or sitting at some desk. But living out my life in connection with the Creator and His creation.