welcome to the story.

A friend of mine emailed me and said that my journal might be a little to open. A little to transparent. I don't think I care. What I write is what I feel. I don't think about it. I don't rewrite it. I simply let my heart pour out and what comes out, stays out. Its raw emotion. Its raw feelings. Its raw Josh. Just like Job poured out his frustrations to his friends and God. I pour out my frustrations to my friends and God. What I feel and write is a part of my very redemption. It is a part of the process that is bringing me a little bit closer to Him. No matter how "raw" it may be. The images and words and thoughts that have been in my head over the past few weeks are spilling over into these words. I wish I could delete the images that I've seen. I wish I could erase the words I've heard and said. I wish I could eliminate every thought that has drifted through my head aimlessly. But I can't fight these things. I'd be fighting the very thing that makes me who I am. The things that have shaped me and led me here. So I embrace them and learn from them, albeit in a difficult fashion. It'd be easy if I didn't let anyone see "me", but then they would never know who I am. And who I am is a hungry man on a journey to the heart of God. So if my journey is a little messier than the clean cut journey of someone else, then so be it. But its me. And I fight the battle everyday to embrace myself the same way that God does. And it is to that end that I write and feel and think and live and move and breathe. For in Him, I exist. To God be the glory.