welcome to the story.

Another Semester of School Today is the first day of school. Let me tell you how excited I am. Can you hear it in my type? It seems like with every semester that goes by, I grow in a huge way. Every semester that I come to school it seems like I already have a nice chunk of my mind made up already as to what I believe about God and life. I always come in with these preconceived notions about God and all these answers that I've already decided upon. But by the end of the semester, after another 4 months of people cramming more information down my throat, more lectures compacted into my brain, and seeing all of this stuff that is supposedly going to change a world and change the church, I find myself sitting not with a whole lot of answers, but with a whole lot of questions. And I don't see myself as sitting empty handed. That even after another semester I still don't know more, but I am not empty handed. I've learned more about myself. Even though I don't have the right answers, I usually come out with a whole lot of questions that I need to address in order that my life counts for something. I find that the more I know about God, the less I know about Him. The more I think I know, the less I really know. In order for me to learn more about Him and grow closer to Him, oftentimes I have to "de" myself. Before I can be reformed and renewed and recharged. I have to "de" me. I have to unpackage everything I think I know to be true about God, church, and life. I have to de myself out of all my preconceived notions, all my pictures of God, all my head knowledge. Being careful not to leave my mind so open, that anything can take root. But essentially, to dump everything out. All my answers. All my knowledge. All of me. And honestly this is a daily process. Running everything I know to be true through God's filter. Sticking everything under his lens. Not mine. So here I am again. Standing at the edge of another four months of learning. Preparing myself to "learn about God." When in the end, I'll know less than I know today and know more than I know today at the same time. The ultimate paradox. To some this is a sad moment of realization. But to me, I'm excited. Even eager, to deprogram me and my ideas and beliefs and learned way of doing things. And to reprogram myself with God and his ideas and his beliefs and his way of doing things and his heart. So here I am at the door to another semester of learning with a full head of answers and a heart full of questions. And I look forward to losing my answers and having God answer my questions. I look forward to where I'll be a semester from now. Knowing less answers and having more questions. Knowing less about God but knowing Him more intimately. A beautiful paradox all wrapped up in a semester of school.