welcome to the story.

Last week we began a shift in our conversation from the deconstruction of what God's will is not, towards some practical things we can do to become aware of God's heart and passion for us. Our conversation began by saying that God's will is not arrived at through magical prayers where we can somehow twist God's arm into giving us what we want. Or that by praying a certain prayer or reading our Bible a certain amount of times does not necessarily mean that we will be able to "discover" the X on the treasure map, the pot of gold at the end of rainbow where all of our wildest dreams come true. Rather, that sometimes, we can be consumed in prayer and and reading through the Bible and honestly seeking for direction on a choice or decision, and yet still not hear the "still small voice of God". So what do we do then? If we believe that God is passionate about the quality and direction of our lives and our decisions, then what do we do when we start drawing blanks. Or how do we begin to listen to God's voice and heart if He doesn't speak to us audibly anymore? What do we do next? How do we involve God in the process of making a decision? How do we become aware of God's heart for that decision? These are tough questions indeed. But last week we proposed our first piece in solving the puzzle. We said that godly friends and family can oftentimes provide us with a perspective that we do not have. They can provide us with an ability to see farther down the road. And that the best piece of advice is to surround yourself with people who will pray with you, share their wisdom, and walk alongside you through the process of making your decision. This week, we have one more piece to add to the puzzle. Namely, learning from our past experiences and circumstances. This simply means that we not only have the wisdom of godly people around us, but we also have the wisdom learned from our past experiences. So the questions we can now ask ourselves are: - What past experiences have significantly shaped your life perspective and future desires? - Have you ever had any bad experiences or consequences from making a similar decision? - Have you ever had any good experiences from making a similar decision? - How does your heart and worK? What are you passionate about? - Have you ever found yourself doing the same thing, and felt like you were in the vein of God's passion for you? These kind of questions are invaluable as you begin to move forward in making a decision based on God's will. I'm not what you would call a lady's man, but I've dated a few girls. Many were good relationships . . . and there were some that were not so good. And since I'm engaged now to my beautiful fiance Anna, its pretty obvious that all the relationships that I have been in the past ended up with a break-up. Usually, it was my girlfriend who was breaking up with me because she realized she could do better. But most of the time it was because they were . . . ah . . . not very smart. I've had a girl break up with me because I wouldn't buy her beer. I've had a girl who broke up with me for a guy in 9th grade. Sadly, we were Juniors. Needless to say, my bad relationships far outweighed my good relationships in high school and college. But there was one girl that I dated in high school for 2 years. I thought she was the one. Obviously, since I'm getting married to the woman of my dreams in 182 days, not that I'm counting, my relationship from high school didn't work out. Now I dated the girl for 2 years and had a fairly good relationship. But when we broke up I found myself saying, "What a mistake! What a waste of time! I spent 2 years of my life just to eliminate one more girl from the sea of marriage possibilities. What a waste of time! What a mistake!" But today, looking back on it, I don't regret the relationship. Because I took responsibility for my decision and allowed that past experience to refine my search for God's will in finding my one true mate. So I can't consider that relationship a waste of time. I can't consider it a bad mistake. I can't consider it a bad decision. Because I learned a lot about the type of woman that I did want to marry. And that I did want to spend the rest of my life with. I allowed my past experiences to provide wisdom in to my present decisions. Every relationship that I was in that ended in a break-up only showed me things that I was looking for and things that I wasn't looking for. Now here's what some of you are going to say and do. Well, I should just date as many people as I can to find out what I like and don't like. I can knowingly walk into a bad relationship or a bad situation with a questionable guy or a questionable girl, because I'll learn from it. But I think we both know that's a poor decision. A poor decision for me would have been to turn around 6 months later and begin dating the same type of girl with all the bad qualities that I didn't want. Or, a bad decision would have been to get into the relationship in the first place, even though I knew deep down that something was not right. We all have relationship experiences or job experiences in life, and the experiences that end up unhappily don't have to be a waste of time. They're only a waste of time if we don't allow those experiences to mold and shape who we are, who we are becoming, and where we need to be in the future. Thankfully, those past experiences play an integral part of my decision making process in the present. And although, Anna and I are going to have a very happy and successful marriage. It's still not the "X" on the map where we are supposed to get to. After we get married, there's going to be something else to get to. A job, a future church, kids, grandkids. It never ends. Thats why we said in week two that ultimately, God's passion for our lives is not located at an "X" on the map. Our "paradise" is an evolving thing. Changing and evolving as we get close to it or even reach it. God knows this and whispers to us, if we're willing to listen, that its not about the destination on the map. Its about the map. It's not about finding the "X" of a job, a wife, a major, a school. It's about discovering that the "X" on the map is in fact God. And he cares much more about the relationship of us trusting Him and moving with Him than on us reaching some magical "point" where we get where we've been wanting to go.